Pathetic Life :D

2011-07-17T06:59:00.002+08:00

I'm useless to you aren't i ? I can't be the great daughter that you've wished for , I can't be a great sister to all your other children , I can't even do things you want . Exactly , what did you want from me ? I GAVE YOU MY EVERYTHING ALREADY . and you think i can accept it when you said i lied to you WHEN I EXACTLY NOT THE ONE WHO DID IT . and because of your other fucking children aka my fucking siblings did it , I'M THE ONE WHO GOT THE BLAME , FOR EVERYTHING THEY DONE . what exactly i did , you tell me . i did nothing . and i even adviced them to not go , but they want to . THEY WON'T EVEN LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING . SO IS IT MY FUCKING FAULT . you . what you know is , khairina who is the cause all of this happens . KHAIRINA FUCKING DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HER SIBLINGS . and when khairina did , no one even appreciate it . you yourself , have you ever took care of your siblings ? HAVE YOU EVER ? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEM ? HUH ? you don't know how hard it is ok , you don't know how painful it is . what you know is to blame me , KEEPS ON BLAMING ME , while i did nothing . NOTHING . ugh . i cannot even wait to go out of this house and make a new life . someone should marry me ok , let me go out of this house .

mum , you are not helping either . when you are mad , i tried my best to make you happy . and when i am mad at everyone , you tried to even make it more painful . fine . so this is what you want . FINE .

I'm not lying when i said i hate my life so fucking much .

How can you be like this .

2011-06-15T14:56:00.002+08:00

How can you be like this ? I'm sorry but I dislike all the hates you are throwing to my friends . and now what , what they did ? why you no throw all the hates to my sister's friends ? they are the bitch one , not mine . you are the one who told me to be friends with someone good and true and what ? I DID . How can I not be worried when her father is in critical situation ? HOW CAN I NOT ? after all her father has treat me really well . we are like sisters , her family member know me too . really well . and why are you suddenly acting like this ? acting like you don't care about her ? this is really you ? I could not even believe . your sudden attitudes makes me don't believe you more . and more . IS THIS REALLY YOU ? please la mum , i'm being serious here , I WOULD NEVER NEED YOUR HELP IF I CAN DO ALL BY MYSELF , but no , i can't drive nor i can ride a motorcycle . I'm not treating you like my driver , I just want to go to the hospital and make her happy . why you no like her parents ? do you remember something ? who helps you when you need helps ? who always talk about you to her friends ? WHO ? not her mum eh ? . really lah . just because they are rich , and we are not , doesn't mean my friend is the type of girl like you imagine . really .... i'm speechless when you said you don't like her family . idk what to say anymore . You are so 1980 minded . if her parents didn't come when i got admitted in the hospital so what ? and my sickness is nothing serious . i got admitted because i'm lack of water , but what about her father ? her father has heart attack and he's still not stable , fighting against everything he can . I need to be beside her , i need to hold her and tell her everything's gonna be ok . is it that hard . is it wrong . is it ? stop it mum . really .

the reason why you think my friends are more important than me , because you feel that i don't treat you well . you always thought that i'm such an impudent daughter who talks back everytime . you feel that you have given me enough . when no ..... you haven't give me your attention that much , love me that much , took care of me that much , proud of me that much . after all i think i'm living on my own , no one cares about me when i'm home . luckily i have my friends , i can feel the love they are showering me , i can feel it . you know ? no you never know . what i get from you is scolding and swearing , everytime . i'm tired of all this . i thought that you know me well enough when actually you didn't. you said you tried so hard to understand me , when i don't see any effort in that then you said you fail to understand me . i know right .

my life . sigh .

blah .

2011-05-07T22:32:00.003+08:00

Mum why are you like this . Seriously , internet is my life . yes i admit i couldn't even live without internet . you know mum , sometimes we need entertainment too . Just like you who release your tension with shopping , i need to release my tension too . but i am seriously not like you . i can't go out , i can't go shopping , i can't watch TV ..... and what's with the new rule ? I can't go online too ? seriously mum , you need to move on . we are not living in 1980 something . we are in 2011 and everything has changes . our minds have change too . of course when you were young , you are not like me . you don't go online , you don't listen to music and such . but unlike me , you are even luckier , you can go out for date , you can go out without even worrying someone will kidnap you , or without even worrying that your dad will definitely chase you with parang and all that . I am 16 mum . I have lived for 16 years . i know what is wrong and what is right . I know how to balance everything . i know how to control myself ... and i sure know a way to get rid of the stress i have right now . i choose science stream because i want to be a phamarcist . of course it's not you who advice me to choose that but you know , in life , sometimes we can't do things that can pleased people . so i choose science stream . you should have known i have 12 subjects that i need to memorize each one of them . imagine how stress will that be mum . just imagine . i do not want to graduate from high school and not getting so much of As . I need to make you feel proud of me , i need to make my aunt's mouth shut and stop stabbing our backs . Mum i do all this for you . I did all the chores work so that you can rest more and enjoy your sweet time . I don't even studied , I do this all for you . Why you still no understand ? I don't need anything but internet . Please understand me .. it is not that hard kan ? i love you so much but please stop destroying my teenagers life . i need to be a normal teenagers too :(

and waasuo siblings . WHAT'S WITH YOU PEOPLE WHO FUCKING ADDICTED TO FACEBOOK . you know what ? i suggest you to stop doing all these and go read english story books . i don't even know why are you all this advanced . that fcking fb is not suitable for you people age . because of you people who don't follow mum's rules , i got the sarcasm , i got the scold AND I FUCKING GOT THE BLAME . WHAT I DID ? SERIOUSLY WHAT I DID . I followed the rules like a madcrazy person just to let mum know that i am not like you all . i don't know who influenced you people until you got this bad attitudes . one day , i swear one day i am so going to meet all of your friends and slap them in the face . i don't know how can you be this idiot . seriously , you two should search for a true friend who doesn't give you bad influence , unlike those bishes who only lead everyone to a great depression because of your act . please stop .

i swear i can commit suicide anyday . i just couldn't take it anymore . this world is so freaking cruel .

2010

2010-12-31T14:53:00.002+08:00

Yo people :)

2010 , you gotta agree there's so much happens in 2010 . january to december . even the last day of 2010 itself brings a bad news to me . but i'm glad that i still stay strong after whatever happens . really

1) I'm glad that i know them

each of them means so much to me . i don't care what anyone going to say , ze:a is an underrated group , or infinite is just another group that tried so hard to copy your favourite group or whatnot whatnot . i seriously don't care . starts from junyoung to dongjun , from sunggyu to sungjong , i just don't know how to thank them more for making my year even more complete . they are now a part of my life , other than SJ . it's hard for me at first to like other groups than SJ . it's freaking hard . i tried my best not to fall for these two groups but i failed . and that's sad . but now , i can accept the fact that i am actually falling for those two groups . i love these boys so much , you can't even imagine how big my love was . i go cray cray over both of the groups everyday . i tried my best to catch up on their schedules like what i did to sj . know what they did all day long . i love you boys so don't you ever change . i love you just the way you are . really .

2) Teukchul

I'm actually glad that bonamana has this 83lines thingy . i will miss them once they're gone next year . i hate reminding myself about their army enlistment but i can't help myself to ignore the fact that i'm separating with them for two years . two years , 24 months . you think i can survive ? hell no . although i will try my best , it's still gonna be painful . i have never separated with them in these 2 years i'm with them . i still see the cheerful leader and evil heechul everyday . getting used with their updates . now i wonder how does it feel to not see teukchul in one day , no update from them in one day , missing them everyday . i wonder if i can bare with it . it's gonna be hard , but i will try . I'm actually proud of them , ei don't you feel proud to ? your idols are actually trained to protect their own country . that's so manly ide . true men did that . i'm proud of teukchul . yes . and teuk-ah , why are you worried you might lose fans ? just see how much fans you got out there , from all over the world , small kids to teenagers , we will all be here for you even after 10 , 20 and 30 years old . really . it's just only 2 years and it will in just a blink of eye ! no need to worry that much because yes , like what we promise , we will be together until forever . i don't believe in forever but when it comes to you and SJ , forever do exist . in a sapphire blue world when there's only ELF and SJ , forever and yongwonhi do exist . believe me :)

3) Infinite's Woohyun

baby , since you're a part of my life , i am affected by what sungyeol tweeted , about your back injury . it affects me so much . i can't even smile . i was all sad and tried my best pretending to smile . i liked your teaser , very much . it shows how manly you were but that's not cool woohyun . that's not cool when you actually injured yourself while filming . i don't like the fact that you tried so hard for us . for your fans until you don't even care about yourself . and you made the staffs cried too while filming . jkjk . rest well woohyun . i could wait for ever for your comeback , it doesn't matter to me . what matter to me was your health , i don't want you to get sick anymore . you performed at mbc gayo daejun , i still can see the pain in your eyes . just how much you tried to hide them , i still can see them . i literally cried when you performed , painkillers injection is not the solution . you need a hell lot of rest hyunnie . don't overworked yourself . be healthy kid . :)

AND WHAT . HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUNGMIN !

sungmin-ah , i hope you will be strong forever to face whatever may happens in the future . you are a true man despite of your cute image . really . be happy mingggiiie .

whatever might happen later , i wish everyone of you HAPPY NEW YEAR 8D . 2011 will be such a good year you know :) have a great day everyone ~ this has been nina who always talks crap throughout her 2011 year and thanks for reading . very much appreciated !

golden disk award . hi .

2010-12-10T00:11:00.003+08:00

Dear SJ ,

I don't think it's the right thing to say sorry to us . I'm the one who should say sorry , we're the one who should apologize . Lee Hyukjae , thanks for asking us why are we crying . It hurts so much to see you cried , and here we are , crying too . although it's just ' why are you crying ' , i know you care so much about us . I just , I'm sorry to let you down :( you're the first one who tweet us , sometimes i wonder how the hell you know how i feel right now . sometimes i wonder are you with me ? why you know about me so much ? hyuk , thanks . idiot , you better let your tears go by tweeting or i will kick your ass for having so much of secrets . you better don't . Lee Sungmin , where are you right now ? as far as i know , iphone can't access minihompy or cyworld , you must be hiding somewhere and cry don't you ? but my lee sungmin never show me his tears . that's just how great you were . you were so strong inside but yet too squishy outside . you're always be the one who calms me down , say it's okay , try to cheer me up . you were just too lovely lee sungmin . we're sorry to disappoint you again . you said it's okay , i will still feel guilty . I just wish i was strong , like you , to accept everything that happens , but i never will be . be strong as always lee sungmin , so that you can be the power of me who never let me down and cry . and idiot , just cry if you want , a man is not weak when he cried . okay . heechul , heechul-ah =( you were so disappointed don't you ? you tried so hard to hide your sadness but it still , i still can see tears in your eyes . man , you're cool . you're just cool to console your hyung , tell him that it's okay , better luck next time . i'm sorry . i am really sorry . Thanks for standing beside leader whenever he's sad . at least he know that he has a friend that is the same age as him to say things like that . I trust you kim heechul . thanks .

hi park jungsoo . I have lots , yeah lots of things to say . first , I'm sorry that I let you down , although you say that we're the best , i still think that i'm not . second , teukie-ah , uljimaa . it breaks my heart to see you cried on heenim's shoulder . third , you should have known about this , whatever gonna happen , whatever they say , whatever they think , i will , we will always be there beside you standing up high and down low with you . fourth , leader-shi , i don't know just how much you wanted GDA , how the hell much you said you wanted to be congratulated too by the end if this year , and it saddens me so much when you tried your best to smile . park jungsoo , you failure , never hold your tears anymore , you hear me ? NEVER HOLD YOUR TEARS ANYMORE . just cry if you want , just shout if you want , just do whatever you want . because park jungsoo , for all the hardwork you did , for all the sacrifices you have done , you deserve every happiness in the world . be happy , jungsoo-ah . sleep well too . my idiot .

kim yesung , why you tweet our picture and make me cry . we did our best don't we ? thanks :)

Lee Donghae , like what i said , when you tweeted , i feel like the bomb has just dropped . i cried even harder , i sobbed even harder . why you have to do this . you feel very loved ? how ? we don't even give you gda , you must be lying hae . i'm sorry , no gda for you . are you sad ? don't be =( . you still lack in many things ? you really think you're lacking so much ? seriously hae , tell me how much you worked your ass off for this , tell me how many times you're sick because of us , tell me how much you made me feel very loved , tell me how . tell me why you said you're lacking , infact you don't . lee donghae , you're my perfection . i hate it when you questioning my loyalty towards you . ' but will you still believe in us ? ' really ? hae . i just proved it to all of you , i'm here with you for two years already . and it's not easy . i have come this far , why would I lost my loyal when you didn't get an award ? why would i hate you when you didn't even win that award ? is love really depends on an award ? know this hae , i will always be here . ALWAYS BE HERE . don't question it no more . i hate it . i love you too and a toast for you who always did your best in anything . i will work harder too in 2011 so that i could see only smiles in your and your members' eyes . TEARS NO MORE .

ELF , you have to be strong . lets be strong with our boys . only we know what's the real situation , why this and that happens . how the judge cheats here and there . we can do it . prove them that they are wrong , prove to them that we're the best . don't do silly things , that means you have given up . never lose hope , remember ? we are ELF . ever lasting hope . ever lasting love . ever lasting friends . forever . hwaiting . :)

Am I ?

2010-11-18T13:35:00.003+08:00

Now Playing : Hangeng - Wings of Love

I don't know how can I be like this . I don't know why am I like this . I don't know what lead me into this . I don't know . really . I used to be one of their best fans , their best ELF . and now , I don't feel like I'm even one of their fans , one of their ELF . I lost track , I lost every updates on them , I lost every single of their new pictures , I'm lost . I used to know what they did days and nights , what schedule they have tomorrow or today , what are they doing right now , who's on sukira , who's on youngstreet , who's on shim shim ta pa . I've been cheating on them too much . Too much till I can't even forgive myself for it . What have I done ? What have I done to my one of the best fandom that I've ever been in ? Seriously , I feel like killing myself . Where's the old nina go ? The old nina who always roots for SJ , stay with SJ , stand by SJ , always feels like this world is hers when SJ members tweet something , always checks on their schedules , always stalk their korean and chinese fansites , always watch their videos . sigh . The new nina , I don't know what has gotten into the new nina . Of course she didn't hate or forget or abandon SJ , it's just that , she's busy with other groups , until she forgets SJ . That was her big , biggest problem now .

Ze:a and Infinite . I've never regretted liking them . Make them be my forever biased . Cherish each member of ze:a and each member infinite . Super Junior makes my life feel complete , and they make my life be even more complete . Junyoung , Siwan , Heechul , Kwanghee , Taehun , Hyungshik , Minwoo , Dongjun and Kevin , they never disappoint me in any way . They can sing very very well , can dance , can even do jokes . So do Infinite . Infinite may be new and still clueless about this idol thingy but I’m sure they gonna make it . Sunggyu , Woohyun , Dongwoo , Sungyeol , Hoya , Myungsoo and Sungjong , they can pull off their witty image on and off stage . Hoya can pull off the skill that even he’s the main dancer , he still can sings beautifully . I don’t put all the blame on them . They’re not the one that I can put blame on . Sometimes I asked myself , why am I doing this ? I have SJ and maybe that’s enough . sigh . Being a fangirl , is the hardest things on earth . The hardest things that I am going through now . When I spazz about hyungshik and sunggyu , I tend to forget about Hae . When I’m watching a video of Hyungshik and Sunggyu without subs , I tend to wonder , why can’t I watch JS videos without sub . When I see a fangirl has just so many bias , I wonder am I like her ? Why can’t I be her ? Why can’t I accept the fact that I had 2 more bias than Hae . I just want Hae to be my bias , only him .

I don’t know how to react with this problem anymore . I just can’t accept the fact that I had so damn many bias . okay , only two . lol . I tried so hard , so dam hard to push them away but they keeps on coming and dang it , I like them . At first , I always deny how I love/like/hate my bias just like any other artist . then , I realized that I treat them not like any other normal artist that I like . To be my bias , they must be so special in my heart . You know too right ? I am not that easy to fall in love with someone , to say that I always want to protect them , to say just how heavenly his voice is , to say just how his dance cracks me up , to say just how stupid silly asshole he is and to just say that I will love him forever . To me , the word ‘ I’m your fan ‘ , ‘ I love you ‘ , ‘ you’re stupid ‘ , ‘ you’re an asshole ‘ , ‘ you’re such a heartless guy ‘ , ‘ you’re cheap ‘ and so on are very , very , very sensitive word . I don’t just say them to whom that I only hear their music , admire their voice . I take a year to finally like SJ . and how come I only take a month or two to like ze:a and infinite ? gahhh . this and that questions . this and that problems . I feel like dying . Shitz .

To Hae .
I mean it . When I say I love you , I really do mean it . but sure I don’t really want you to be my boyfriend , in fact I always treat you like my older brother . My older brother whom I can rely on . My older brother who’s the only one who understand me . Lately , I’ve been lacking of you , your pictures and your news . so much . I can’t take it . I can’t hide myself from being guilty on what have I done . I feel like I don’t deserve your love , your support and your sincerity anymore . I promise to not look at any other guy other than you , I broke my promise . I broke my promise to be just your fans and not others . I broke my promise to make you’re my only bias and I failed . I broke my promise to spazz about you everyday . I broke my promise to update about you everyday . I broke my promise to make your group my only group who can make me feel at ease . I broke my promise to not delete any of your songs on my iShuffle . I broke my promise to save your pictures more than others . If you know this , If you ever acknowledge this , will you forgive me ? will you still accept me as your fans ? will your group members still accept me as their ELF ? I’m sorry for what have I done these past few weeks . I just can’t control myself . I’m sorry .

To Shik and Gyu ,
Two of you brings a lot of happiness to me lately . Shik with his own frantic sillyness that makes me go aahhhh and ohhhhh every night . Gyu with your amazing voices and amazing eyesmiles make me go crazy every damn night . How can I not love you more ? but I’m sorry , you sure want me to be your fans . I’m sorry that I can’t . I’m scared that I might abandon Hae . I’m sure I will protect , love and support you like always do . You two are like my soulmate . Stay with this kay . I will buy your albums if I can , I will support everything you do , I will love you like I always do . I’ve once hate ZE:A and Infinite , if you acknowledge this too , will you two ever forgive me ? I don’t know how can I hate such angels like you . I’m sure I will be in your fandom once I have accept the fact that , a girl can admire many many guys but she will sure be back with her first love . First in anything . :)

I will work hard to be the best ELF I can . I can do it . Nina hwaiting .

ps : if you still want to read my entry for SJ's annivesary , I will finish it up later . lol

2010-11-06T01:08:00.002+08:00

I swear i will wrote one once my mind is at ease . <3

by the way sunggyu , awesome gyu . i love you 8D

Henry and Zhoumi ,

2010-11-04T03:03:00.002+08:00

I don't know how much I cried seeing this . I don't know how much my heart has torn into pieces when I see this . you know , he deserve every happiness in this world . Why can't you let him be with his hyungs ? Please , I don't want to make him looks pitiful here , but he really deserve to be with his hyungs . Do you not hurt by just seeing this ? Isn't he in our family too ? and a family needs to be united . then why is he still there ? why you still object his presence in the family ? Why ? I don't get it . Lets just get over it . He did nothing to us . They did nothing to us . They just want us to love them , to support them . They don't even want to join SJ , so why we bother to let them suffer more ? It's not their fault or even his fault to be in SJ-M . the one who you should blame and torture is their company and not them . They did nothing . really nothing towards all of you . Why can't you just love them ? A little is really enough . They need the love . They need the love from the fans . Stop being so selfish , will you ? Lets just stop all this hate . Just stop . I can't bare to see Zhoumi and Henry hurts anymore . It's just too much for myself . Please . Stop all this . Love them . Please love them . more . more and more . please .

-Nina

Dear ELF ,

2010-11-03T00:52:00.002+08:00

Yo =)

I'm writing this because I'm upset with some of the ELF , who don't even worship Zhoumi and Henry . Look , I understand what you mean . You want SJ to be forever 13 , You want SJ to be 13 and only 13 , You want SJ to start with Leader Teuk ends with ELF , You want SJ to continue to be 13 forever . I understand . I want them to be 13 too , as Super Junior . and Super Junior , they want to be 13 too , forever . I understand how you protect 13 members and take care of them . Like I don't , right ? I love 13 too , but I don't really have a heart to make Zhoumi and Henry sad . Super Junior loves Zhoumi and Henry . Why can't you love them too ? You know , it's really possible for them to be in SJ . It really is . Then , why can't you at least , at least see them as our family ? Zhoumi and Henry is a part of our family too . SJ loves them . Whatever you did now is breaking their heart . They have gone so much of shits from the day they debut until now , you really love to see them crying over you huh ? Please , be matured . Think before you act . Do you think when you chants ' Only 13 ' , things will get better ? hell no . You're not just breaking Zhoumi and Henry's heart , you're breaking SJ's heart too . Your goal is to make them suffer and leave this fandom , do you ever think of SJ ? do you ever care what they feel ? do you ? Why ? They will be sad too . Zhoumi and Henry are after all their friends . They're siblings . You chants ' only 13 ' everywhere you see them . Look , just put YOU in their shoes . You're going to pursue your dreams while everyone around you hated you just so much . Everyone feels like killing you . Everyone ignores you . How does it feel now ? Good ? Of course , no . Of course you feel like giving up or even murder yourself . But look at them , how strong they can be to fight ALL of you back and stand up properly as SJ-M's Zhoumi and SJ-M's Henry . Did you ever think that you're just too much ? Too much of hating them ? For what ? Why can't all of you to stop hating and starts loving ? It isn't that hard . Zhoumi and Henry need our love and support the most . Who else going to support them if not ELF ? WHO ? They need us . Stop hating them please . They just have suffered so much . Lets just accept them for the way they are . Lets just love and support SJ-M's Zhoumi and SJ-M's Henry as much as we love and support SJ .

-Nina

Day 2 .

2010-10-17T13:36:00.003+08:00

Day 2 : Write a letter to the person that you like .

Dear person ,

It's so obvious right ? I just have my eyes on him , now and forever . Hey what's up ? I still remember the first time you caught me off guard when I was watching Dancing Out . How much a dork can you be ? I don't know you at that time , all I know is , the guy who wore blue-stripes shirt . I tried so hard to not fall for you , but you were always here in my mind . You have won over my heart . fyou lee donghae , i don't freaking like it . when my friend asked me , was you the one that i like , I refuse to say yes . We just met , and that's impossible for me to fall for someone so easily . I am not cheap . She gave me tons of your group videos . and I have watched tons of it . Starting from Full house , then Mystery 6 , it leads me to Adonis Camp , here comes EHB . I did not expected to see you in every show I watched . You're like the ghost who follow me around when I watched certain video because it only consist of you ! Why are you like this ? Why you have to torture me ? I have already a fandom that I need to be loyal to . Slowly , time goes by , you have grew in me . Your laugh and voice were my melody everyday . Your smiles were my sweet to be happy . Why are you like this ? Why you have to make me be like this ? Seriously hae , I hate you . I can't find the reason why I'm attracted to you . Until now , the question is still unanswered . From Don't Don to Sorry Sorry to Bonamana . There's times I gave up on my fandom life . but you , and your group members , were too special for me to leave you all . You made me change 360 degrees . I'm used to write in malay , but now , everything that i typed is english . Nina and Khairina is absolutely not the same person . You changed me from Khairina into Nina , that's awesome Hae . There's no one can change me be like what am I now . If it's not because of you , I would have be the nerdy Khairina who only use her laptop to play games . Lee Donghae , I dropped almost all of my results . but you never care . I turned myself into a lazy ass , you never care . I slept in the class and getting scolded by the teacher , you effing never care . I slept late at night and woke up with those heavy eyebags , YOU NEVER EVEN CARE . That shows how cruel can you be . But did you know ? Just by your smiles , Just by your voices , Just by your quotes , you can make me be the most happiest girl on earth and forget all the problems i have . Why are you like this ? Why it's you who has the charm to make me happy all the way ? WHY IT WAS YOU ? WHY ? WHY LEE DONGHAE ? WHY HIM ? sigh . I believe that's the fate between us . You and me , like this , forever . I believe it's the fate that make us be together . The person I like above , who named Lee Donghae , who made my heart stop beating when he smile , who just can make me happy with a single smile , I've liked you and loved you for 2 years . and I'm still counting . I hope we can be together , forever . It's okay for you to not know me , because you eventually will know me later . Till then , Bye =)

- Nina .

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I didn't know I actually have two fangirls of my blog ? LMAO /HUGSTHEM . by the way , I already have a tumblr . COOL XD http://haeboo.tumblr.com

SEE YOU THERE 8D

MERDEKA

2010-10-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

Like finally . Merdeka 8D but sometimes , it doesn't feel like one . I've been worried about my science since the first second I passed it up . MIND TORTURE . So yeah , since everyone is boring to uhm , read about the suju updates and my shit ramblings , I should have do something that can entertain you guys . LOOK HOW GOOD CAN NINA BE ? BOO . So yeah , Lets get started .

Random:

Write a letter to the last person you kissed.
Write a letter to the person you like.
Write a letter to your parents.
Write a letter to your best friend.
Write a letter to your siblings. (If you don’t have one, write one to a close friend)
Write a letter to your grandparents.
Write a letter to your oldest friend.
Write a letter to someone you miss.
Write a letter to someone you used to be good friends with but now you don’t talk.
Write a letter to your favourite actor/actress.
Write a letter to your favourite musician.
Write a letter to someone who died.
Write a letter to your pet.
Write a letter to your ex.
Write a letter to the person who changed your life.
Write a letter to someone who helped you through a really hardtime.
Write a letter to someone who you wish hadn’t changed.
Write a letter to your favourite teacher.
Write a letter to the prettiest person you know.
Write a letter to the nicest stranger you ever met.
Write a letter to someone who you never thought you’d end up being friends with.
Write a letter to one of your close friends.
Write a letter to a fictional character.
Write a letter to someone who’s emotionally unstable.
Write a letter to someone on tumblr.
Write a letter to someone who hurt you the most.
Write a letter to a person you never thought you’d kiss but you did.
Write a letter to someone you want to slap.
Write a letter to someone who taught you something important.
Write a letter to your first boyfriend/girlfriend

Here comes my Day 1 :

A letter to the last person I kissed .

Dear Lee Donghae ,

You are the last person I kissed . We kissed everyday . It's just that you're in another world , that doesn't even know if I'm exist or not . But nevermind , you're going to know and recognize me somehow later . /kissedalldonghaepictures . i love you , my cute idiot .

scared me

2010-10-04T10:20:00.003+08:00

' I only see you , I kept thinking about you . That never fails to make me smile . '

I AM SO SCARED . I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BREATH ANYMORE . DAMN . THE PAPER IS TOMORROW . DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN .

Confession :

I'm sorry SJ :( I'm sorry to disappoint you . I know right . I was all confused as to why Hae didn't smile at the airport . He usually gave his best smile for the fans . I finally realized my mistake . I shouldn't do it . I shouldn't let the secret spill . I shouldn't let all the world know by spreading the news about you're going on a vacation . It supposed to be an effing secret right ? but the ever stupid me , doesn't even realized that i am actually destroying your rest , your vacation . It's not a real vacation . I can feel it . I can know , lee donghae , you're such a fail to hide how you feel . You're disappointed because it supposed to be a secret . I'm sorry :( I really am . I'm the one who told you to have some rest , I'M THE ONE WHO BEGS YOU TO HAVE SOME REST . but what i just did ? I JUST SPILLED YOUR SECRETS , I JUST LET EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT IT , I JUST DESTROYED YOUR VACATION . I want to see the smile , but I think I deserve an unsmiled picture of you . I promise I won't do things like this again . It hurts me when I asked myself , who was the person with a hoodie , the unsmiled boy in wookie's pictures . I thought it was another manager of SJ but it turns out to be you . I don't recognize the unsmiled picture of you bb . PLEASE SMILE :) after all , you still get your space because the italian fans had promised that they won't be a stan during your vacation . SMILE . I promised it won't happen , again :)

Random : HAE'S COLLARBONE IS OSM . I WANT IT .

RESTING , my foot

2010-10-03T18:34:00.002+08:00

they're the meaning of my rest .

before I ever typed this entry , I was very happy . to the point that i seriously claim for the first time that i love my life . mum was so great today . she didn't even nag . but when she didn't even nag , then someone began to replace mum's job . i can stand it if a woman nags , because it's not a serious matter . but what i should do if a man nags too ? and the words he used . ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ~ too powerful to even describe . hah . i was told to be just relax , release my tension and just smile . okay then i thought it's going to be okay if i watched some videos that can make me laugh. in fact , I did asked my mum if I can watch it or not and she answered ' please do . stop reading the books ' . fine . I was hesitated at first , I can't online now . I have exams . but mum saw me reading the revision book instead of doing some exercise . she screamed into my face , tell me to stop forcing any other things to stuff in my head . fine . I opened my laptop , and watch some videos on youtube . I can't use my laptop because my sister was using it . so i used his laptop . i thought he was so gonna be all cool and chill . he never nags at me though when i used his laptop -.- I was so into that ze:a variety show then he started to nag about how can I watching some videos now , I have exams the day after tomorrow . I was all confused . I don't want to open the website . I am force to . It's not my fault . so why blame me ? why nags at me ? I'm so effing disappointed . T_T you told me to rest , i don't want to sleep . I am not you . I CAN'T BE YOU . Did you even know that when at nights , I CAN'T SLEEP ? you asked me to sleep , how can even I ? I have my own way to rest . I am at rest when I see them . I am at rest when I chat with my friends . THAT IS MY MEANING OF REST . seriously dad , I'm sorry , I may be your daughter , you may be the one who know me better than anyone else did , but i can't be you nor do I can follow your steps of learning . you're a genius , an effing genius , no one can doubt that . you're a man , you can handle your stress yourself . you have a wife , she can make you at rest . but i have no one . that is why i watched the videos , because i have them . they know how to make me laugh , and cool down . i'm sorry . I am seriously can't be you , because I am Nur Khairina . I've grown up , i am not a baby who need someone to teach me the meaning of rest . I knew it better . Sorry .

and these guys will be the meaning of my life .

PMR-ERS , GOOD LUCK . WE CAN DO IT YOU KNOW . =D

Madness

2010-09-17T08:40:00.007+08:00

Hello , so uhmmm yeah . i am butthurt . like i care right . this entry will be full of cursing and my ramblings about this article ( http://www.allkpop.com/2010/09/professional-critics-rank-the-top-5-best-and-worst-idols/comment-page-63#comments ) . so , you may leave if you don't want to read this . It is after all my blog :D

So , lets get started .

OBVIOUSLY , I am butthurt over this article . how can SNSD be in the 2nd spot while DBSK is at 5 ? DBSK are a legend ! the girls are TOO far from it . snsd can't sing , okay maybe they are cute but only like , 3 out of the 9 who can really sing ! and why is Boa first anyway ? I kind of agree that she's famous enough in the US but when you ask someone here about Boa , they will be like ' WHO IS BOA ? ' . She should be in DBSK's position but still , she is the best . if you tell me that i am a biased , well , you are definitely wrong . I am not a Cassiopeia , nor do I hate SNSD . I love all of them , but when it comes to this , I can be really looks like i am anti of them .

Lets move on with the worst damn-shit-no-brains list .

and uhm , I was seriously , SHOCK , too SHOCK with this .

First , HOW THE EFF CAN SJ BE THERE ? ' dividing listeners into those that can memorize their names, and those that cannot. ' seriously ? haha if someone liked a group , they would do anything for them . come on , it is not your effing business that those people can't even memorize their names . but I think , it is only YOU who can't memorize their name . come on , it is just 9+4 , you can memorize 9 , just 4 more doesn't effect your smart brain :D bytheway , it took me forever to actually memorize SNSD's haha . no offence , just saying .

' being nothing other than a bandwagon-type group with skills that fall short of the rising level of expectations. ' OH WAIT , WHAT ? SJ is nothing ? you gotta kidding me kay . They are the one who start first this idols dj-ing , mc-ing thingy . they are the one who start first this idols being a part of a movie and one of them getting SERIOUSLY involved in this acting world . They are the one who start first bring in a chinesee person in a group debuting in korea , TALK FLUENTLY IN HANGUL . that's what you mean by nothing ? seriously ? are you blind or what ? ugh .

' there are qualifications to even becoming the worst, though the true worst is yet to be revealed. ' THEY ARE FAR FROM WORST . They were bashed for not singing in an event JUST BECAUSE one of their members were sick at that time . DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ? shit crazy , HE IS SICK . and yet you people BASHED him . what the eff is this ? and suju calmly respond towards all those batshitt crazy critics by singing 30 out of 36 songs live in ALL super show concert . and i don't even see any of them lacking in their vocals . Do you even know why they can sing better in front us , for us and not for you ? just because they are not made to sing in front of you who keeps on critics them , they are made to sing in front of thousands people who worship them , WHO EXCEPT ALL THEIR FLAWS . not you . please do understand .

' Super Junior is an unfortunate group that just isn’t able to live up to the level of their popularity. ' you really don't know them , you really do . but why you made this ? why you made them be in the top 5 list . can't you just have some respects on them ? even if they are not popular , even if Koreans doesn't worship them , THEY HAVE US . SJ is not an unfortunate group . what makes you think they are ? Don't you remember ? Whose song makes people , ALL OVER THE WORLD knows kpop ? isn't it sorry sorry ? WHICH GROUP SORRY SORRY BELONGS TO ? ISN'T IT SJ ? ISN'T IT THE SJ THAT YOU SAID , WERE IN THE TOP 5 OF YOUR FREAKING WORST LIST ? haha laugh at you . You bashed them , you said they are an unfortunate group , but too bad , we will see who won the big awards this year , i can seriously bet my cow plushy for it . next time , if you want to say bad things about others , THINK OF WHAT THEY DID TO YOU FIRST . even i can think , why elders can't ? -.-

oh and crazier , I saw ZE:A too . they seriously don't know about TALENTS . ZE:A doesn't have hot and handsome members like Infinite , teen top , CN blue , and whatnotwhatnot . but if you heard some of their vocals , even their raps , I do think they have talents . Ha minwoo can pull off Don't Don dance , as pro as how hyukjae can dance . Moon Junyoung is to be said as the second Park Yoochun , but he don't even copied anything that Park Yoochun has .HE HAS HIS OWN STYLE . JUST LIKE ZE:A . ZE:A HAS HIS OWN HIDDEN TALENTS . and by the way , i have seen worst groups than them . they may not be as successful or as popular as other groups who just debuted , but you should actually respect how they work their butts off , how minwoo wanted to help his grandmum , how heechul who actually came from an effing rich family yet he wanted to live with his own money , how taehun lost his parents yet he can be a great rapper and what not not yet you actually label them as THE ABSOLUTELY WORST GROUP . dang it .

OH SHIT , I SAW RAIN , TOO . how can JUNG JIHOON BE IN YOUR DAMN LIST , MANNNN . he is TOO far from being the worst and TOO good for being in your best 5 list . and if this make you wonder , if it's not because of him , if it's not because of his movie , Megan Fox will never said that she actually has some interest in Korean mans . Bah . yet you called him worst . oh wait , his excessive media exposure ? well , what can you do about being the most popular korean man title , haha . everyone wanted to see him , he had so many countless fans all over the world , he had so many recognitions in the US . HE IS FLUENT IN ENGLISH . of course he has an excessive media exposure . -.- oh and now i know , Koreans only worship BODY as much as they worship TALENTS . oh and of course they doesn't worship ZE:A because ZE:A members , unlike 2PM , they doesn't have this oh-so-six-packs although they tried to make one . please lah kay , do having an impressive body makes you famous ? makes you love by nation ? what ? -.- and dang it , JIHOON HAD SO MANY SUCCESSFUL AWARDS AND CONCERTS AND PERFORMANCE AND EVEN BEEN TITLE AS ' WORLD STAR ' but what's with ' the nothing can be found other than the skinny reality behind his impressive body. ' . let me laugh kay . If he had nothing , SERIOUSLY NOTHING more than his impressive body , there will be no MBLAQ . there will be no awards he had been receiving , there will be no movies he had been acting in ( lead actor some more ) , there will be no the title ' king of kpop ' , there will be no recognitions from Megan Fox . T_T YOU ARE JUST BIASED . FULLSTOP .

and for other bands like CN Blue who had been said copying FT Island , H.O.T who had been said as a failure , I believe they have their own talents that not everyone has it . Every groups that debuted , they seriously have their own hidden talents that not everyone can see from the outside . they should not do this because it will just be a fan war between those fanclubs . yet you called your self as a ' professional 'critics . my ass .

So hmm yeah , some of you may said ' get over it , MOVE ON ' , but I can't . I can't take it when people called my favorite group as the worst group . i'm sorry if some of the sones were offended by this entry , i don't know who came across this blog and read this entry . i love snsd , just like how i love other groups in SME , but , i have my own opinions . :)

Happy Eid Day

2010-09-08T12:35:00.003+08:00

Hey people on earth :D Selamat Hari Raya ! The reason why am I blogging here is because , I want to seek everyone's forgiveness . you know , human makes mistakes . I can't run from the human nature though . I back stabs , I bash , I curse , I swear a lot , I lied , I know , I did a whole lot of mistakes that I don't think part of them will ever forgive me . I made people hurt by my comments , I only think about myself . I doesn't even care what other feels . I am not trying to be Kim Heechul though . I swear a lot , telling people stupid , silly , bitch , asshole , but that's my way to show how much I love them . I bash newbies , I bash people who says my boys aren't the best , I bash other fanclubs , I bash people who only likes based on their looks . I bash about everything that doesn't seems so right in my eyes . I am a completely fool . I am self centered . I can't take other's opinions , I want people to agree only with my opinion . I sulk a lot , I disappoint people around me . I curse a lot about everything i see , everything I heard . and I do think it reflects to other . I disturbs people , love to annoy them , makes them mad and go crazy , curse at them , say how stupid were them , comment about everything . I am a fool . I know all that . Parents , I have been such a rebel daughter , I did a lot of mistakes , more than you can ever imagine but you two still loves me , more than I have ever love you . I am really sorry . My sisters and my brothers , your awesome Kak Nina will always love the three stupid , childish , not matured , silly , always whining , monsters , not helpful , always cause problems , always annoys me to the core , fighting over a damn slice of cake , fighting over who's turn watching tv , fighting over a game , fighting over the suitable names for your damn rabbits , cats , fishes and turtles , fighting over silly things and ended up getting scolded from mum , whatever you have done , whatever you may be , how silly you are , how you love to annoy me and such , this awesome Kak Nina will always love you three siblings , until the end of the world :D Friends at school , my table mates , 5 people who sits behind me , 3 humans from 3K , 3 humans from 3L , seniors , juniors , if I ever did mistakes , if I ever did something that doesn't please you , if I ever did something that hurts you , I'm sorry . My internet friends , people who hates me because I bash them , my enemies , you people actually the one who makes me be the way I am now . Thanks , and I am sorry . If I ever hurts you , I am a human too . I am no better than myself . Nur Khairina is not created to please everyone . She makes mistakes too . PMR is coming , I need your bless . I need you to forgive me for what I have done . Lets forget the past and start a new life . So , yeah . I can see some of you are already crying XD This ramblings have all been from the awesome nina :D Happy Eid Day everyone !

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Random One :

* the pink or green one pleaseeee *

I saw an advertisement about the new Ipod Shuffle ( OMG THIS SHIT IS SO COOL , UGH ) , I want thatttt ! before I saw it , I already motivate myself to not buy it because it's just will waste your damn money . you're not a rich girl , silly . But when I saw the ad , my desire were like ' STUPID STUPID I MUST BUY THAT NO MATTER WHAT ! ' lmao . i know right . I damn have so many things to buy , yet I buy this . I want this thing for ever and my mum doesn't even want to buy me one . ' wasting of money ' , that's what she said . so , It's better for me to not eat at school , and starve the hell out of me . for just this damn thing . sigh . and I'm desperate now , whether to buy it or not . I really am aware that this shit will always waste my money , I have to save for china's trip though ! but I hecking can't let this thing go . sigh . what a damn life I have !

Random two :

I saw this Jay guy at Subang Parade's MPH and I thought he looked so Jay ! No , I mean , he has the Jay vibes . Don't you think so ? Look at him . Bytheway , I am so begin to be the awesome stalker on earth XD so , yeah . I bumped into him , he touched me /SCREAMS . but stupidme , really stupid me , I didn't even say sorry ! ugh man , I just waste it ! okay , the first time I saw him , I was like ' wait , I SAW HIM SOMEWHERE ! Isn't he looked like JAY ?! omg JAY ?!!! ' , I screamed in my mind . told my sister about it . That girl doesn't believe me . Fine . We were reading at a magazine and she stumbled upon a page of Jay . and she said ' OKAY , TRUTHFULLY , SERIOUSLY , THAT GUY IS SO JAY ! ' lmao stupid girl . and I never thought that he will be there , in front of me , reading chinese magazine . So , I assume that he's chinese ? but to me , he is korean . lol . then I secretly , took out my camera , switch the mode , and took his picture . then , came a sexy beautiful girl . That girl was just perfect . And he's hugging that girl . okay , HEARTBREAK xD but nevermind , I thought that girl really suits him . and at least , I got a picture of you ! HAHA /evillaugh . To whoever you are , I am sorry for taking your picture secretly AND PLEASE DON'T SUE ME , CRAZY . I just want to show people , that I saw a Jay-clone . that's all . :D

Random three :

In my heart now , There will be only be these two guys , I don't know why am I like this . Maybe this love is forever . I hope so .

don't worry hae , how can I ever forget you ? tell me . you're the one who makes me calm down when I'm mad , you're the one who makes me proud of myself . You're really the greatest boyfriend that I ever had .

Say hello to my new love . I am biased . He's my new biased . I am not his fans , I just like him . Maybe I will be one soon , but I can't seem to divide my love and loyalty into two . Maybe hyungsik , I will just protect you from antis , love you by the way you are , and support you . I am not calling myself a ZE:A's though . Anyway my prince charming , how can a man be so beautiful ? Please stay healthy :D

Random

2010-08-29T02:34:00.003+08:00

LOL AT THE DORKS

Just did Score-A , Malaysianhistory question and got 66 % . okay what , teacher said it is still A :D I'm sleepy . Bye

ps: I don't think my grammar was good enough . I don't know .

Updates ,

2010-08-28T00:36:00.005+08:00

keep smiling like this , will you ?

Hey angel up there ,

Can you at least be happy and smile ? Stop calling yourself a fool please .

Everyone needs you , If you fall , everybody will fall .

You hold the title ' leader ' for nearly 7 years , Let's do this together .

We are willing to do this together right ? Forever after .

Leader , LeaderTeuk ,

There's no reason for you to call yourself a fool ,

Let's just don't care about what antis might said , we know ourselves better . Why care to satisfy others ?

There will be a part of those thousands people who doesn't like you , but jungsoo-ah , your fans are much more than them .

You have us , You have EverLastingFriends ,

You make us , to guide you and to stand beside you , in whatever condition you are ,

So , here we are . We are not going to let you fall , nor going to make you looks like a fool to others ,

We are here because you need us to help you to stand straight and lead the world .

Jungsoo-ah , please be happy .

Just how many obstacles you have gone through those past years , you really need to be happy .

You deserve all the happiness that world have . and give yourself a rest .

You really need a rest , your body has it's own limit too . You are not a robot .

People should stop treating you like a robot . Look at how skinny you can be .

You are such an awesome man , you know ~

PARK JUNGSOO , BE HAPPY !

PRETTY MING IS PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I wrote this because he has been too emotional these days and I can't stand it . He keeps calling himself a stupid guy . Did he not know ? He's such an awesome man . So , yeah . And ! XD I changed my blogskin . I am toooooo jealous with those people who has great skins . My old ones was such a failure . I might change it after PMR and I'm looking forward to write ' 30 days letter challenge ' . something like that , I don't remember it's name . Found it at Nana's blog . SO YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH , I love Lee Donghae . Hyungshik is like ... my new invisible boyfriend and is in love with him without hae's knowing . If you told hae about this , I am so going to chop your head . You too know that Hae is a jealous monster . Sigh . What a husband ! Wish me luck for PMR , people . Bye *wink*

I just wish , ZE:A is famous , more then they are now . because they just deserve it . Am not biased but it's true .

I HATE THIS BLOGSKIN BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS CENTRED . WTF , ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT LIKE NORMAL ?! /DYING

God's challenge

2010-08-25T13:44:00.002+08:00

I'm holding it until now . Everyone is giving me stress . I don't know where I do mistakes . Even the stupidest person can do correct , I cannot . so that's mean i am such a failure . I am such a failure . I am such a fool . So , now . I finally can understand Jungsoo . I have been crying all day long for these shitty marks I get . It's heartbreaking . I studied my heads off and everyone knows that . I know , I don't fucking deserve those marks that I get . It is shitty . I don't want to break my parents heart anymore . but I just did it . I am such a failure . Stupid head . Stupid me . Stupid mine . It's better to not study . It gives me up so much . bye . forever .

Peter and SJ

2010-08-22T01:55:00.003+08:00

I can't search a new picture of 13 anymore . Sad .

Because I just missed you so much .
Two weeks not updating about you was just hell enough for me .
I thought I’m just living in hell .
There’s not much pictures of you in laptop ,
But I can never get bored seeing the picture of you smiling sweetly ,
How can I ? I’ve missed you too much to be true .
When I hear to ‘ No Other ‘ , I can just cry in happiness ,
To the fact that when I’m sad or stressed ,
I still have the one who can cheer me up with their songs ,
Doesn’t it good to be me ?
Do everyone experienced like this too ?
Because if you do , you can feel how much you love them .

When I feel sad, I can just think of you ,
And it’s going to be only you .
But I know it’s stupid to do this ,
Because heck ,
You doesn’t even know me .
Nor you even exist in front of my eyes , talk to me and calm me down .
One thing for sure , I love being with you through all this whole time ,
You make me feel loved and supported .
You make me become friendlier and proud of myself .
You make me become awesome than who I really am .
And just because you make me know the real life .
You make me fight for something that I must hold to ,
You make me wait , believe and keep the faith on something ,
You make me love my family more and just by seeing your intimate-ness with your family members , I just wish I can do that to my family too .
You make me use my money wisely and save for the future .
You make me become good in English and I should really face the thirteen of you and really thanked you . Did I mention , all this whole while , I can’t even write good essays ? There’s too many grammatical errors and because of that , I just embarrassed of how stupid I can be but now not anymore . I’m doing good . In fact , I sucked in my own language .
You make my life from colorless to colorful . did you realize how you changed my life drastically ? I can finally know the real life . All thanks to you .
You made me struggle hard for my exams because you once told me that I should study hard and let my parents proud of me .
You make me so motivated . Did I mention I have a bottle of pill whereby we can write something in that pill ? It is a good friend when you’re sad . I wrote everything you said to me such as study hard and I did read it when I feel like giving up on my life .
You tend to give me so much of invisible strength. When I nearly give up on my life , just by hearing to your song , It cooled me down . When I’m stressed or tired , I think of Kyuhyun who can achieve both study and singing . It’s such an awesome feeling .
I want to thank you , thirteen awesome guys who makes me become like that .
Thank you for your strength , love and support .
And you’re going to be my strength , love and supporter forever .
I want to grow old with you and even if I’m married , I want my children to know that all this while , I am actually growing up with you .
I need to tell them how much important you were in my life and how you give me your support endlessly .
And I also need to tell them I had such a blissful life to have you by my side .
If you don’t know yet , you have brought such a happy bright smile into my life . Great job there .
Hanging there lovelies , wherever you are , wherever you go , we will always be there .
YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY MUCH EITHER .
Gengfans and ELF will always love the thirteen of you , for your wildness , stupid habit and for your weakness .
We are so willing to wait for you to united together even if that takes a mean time of FOREVER .

We love you <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BONUS :

WAIT , CAN I GO CRAZY TONIGHT ? /DIES

First ,

Second ,

Third ,

I can just die happily with peter you know . Screw you if you didn't know him . He's like ... THE BEST KOREAN ARTIST IN TWITTER ? yeah he is . and Hae , damn it you should tweeted me like what he did ! hmph , Peter , you're not cute at all BUT I LOVE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT . Thanks for making me smile and put me into a full of smile sleep . lol

and officially , this will be my last update before pmr scares the hell out of me . BYE ILOVEYOU

HI KHAIRANI .

2010-08-03T13:50:00.002+08:00

Hello sister :D I can't help it to confess about you in my blog . HI AGAIN . I hope you read this and I will be glad if you really did . First of all , I HATE YOU TO TOUCH MY THINGS . I know that our age gap were not THAT difference but boo you , you have yours and I have mine . Even though we're blood related , BUT WHAT IS MINE , IS REALLY MINE . Yes , I don't like you to touch my things :D call me stingy , I am always like that . Evey girl did this AND EVEN YOU . Please respect my things and I will respect yours . Second , WHY CAN'T YOU ASK MY PERMISSION WHEN YOU WANT TO USE MY THINGS ? seriously , there is no ' my sister will not mind if i use hers because she IS my sister ' . wth ? roxy things are not CHEAP THINGS OKAY ? even you hates me using your kyuhyun bag without your permission . how can you use mine ? even though if it's just a roxy plastic bag , i really treasure it . you too know that everything I buy , I will always took care of it . even if it is a just damn pencil . Third , thanks to you , I finally locked my laptop :D Seriously , what I did to this computer was just surfing about SJ . and i have facebook account also because of Henry . I also have twitter account because of donghae . SERIOUSLY , IF THEY'RE NOT EXIST , THEN I WILL NOT HAVE THOSE ACCOUNTS UNTIL FOREVER . I hate it when you open myspace or tagged . that is just too cheap . Hello , I've never been into those stupid webs for almost two years , and yeah i am proud . I have never talked about any guys in my fb and twitter other than SJ . unlike you , you knew everything . that's awesome :) I don't want to scold you and stuffs because I have so much things to settle and do . NO . I WILL FOREVER UNLOCK THIS LAPTOP OF MINE UNTIL YOU CHANGED YOUR HABITS . I will never tell ibu this because I know , she will tell you . aha i am not stupid . Lets just try to figure out what is my password okay ? fighting ! :)

ps: luckily there's someone who calmed me down .

Last , I swear

2010-07-25T16:04:00.005+08:00

' Thanks for being with me through my good and bad times . You're indeed my happy pill . Thanks for making me smile everyday . Really Thank You '

It's because I'm awesome and I can't post it on Tuesday , I will write it now .

It's finally our second annivesary . Boys , It's two years already and still counting . I want to grow old with you , Can I ?

It's a lie when I said , loving , support and believe them for two years is easy . I've gone through so many obstacles only for them .

I still remember when I first love them , when I first get to know them , I hate them . because the fact is , I'm a fan of Aliff Aziz . but when I get to know them , I get to know the REAL them , I begin to leave AA . not because of i don't like him anymore . I really do like him but yeah , It's a secret . :) So yeah , the first guy i know is Kangin . just because he looks so chubby and because of his ' korean number one raccoon ' , I laughed . That was my first laugh watching Full House . That laugh brought to another laugh and I continue laughing . Whenever I remember any of the lines , I will laugh silently . and I laugh at how stupid can I be to remember all that . I can't even remember a topic in my history book . but I can remember the whole episode of SJ full house . Too weird . When I've Suju fever , what matter the most at that time is SJ and only SJ and no one else . I don't even care I failed in a subject ( mom doesn't know this until now ) . Who cares ? what i know is , I want to be like others .

Just when I'm a fan of them , I heard Kyuhyun got into an accident . I doesn't really care at that time because I don't know them . But now , I regret that I cannot pray for kyuhyun . pray for Kyuhyun's healthy . I want to do it , once again . Athirah showed me her album collection , i am DEAD jealous . I worked hard , lose on weight , not wanting to buy anything , JUST FOR SUJU'S ALBUM . and i make it . 3 months i wait for the album to get in my hand . That was the first time me buying things online . I am really proud of myself .

Time passes by , results go downs and up . here comes SS2 . I was , well , nearly died . I collected , means that I didn't eat for 3 months just for SS2 . I am stupid . I really do think mom will let me go but nah , in your dreams . Mom against me for being too fanatic . She doesn't even know they're the one who puts me to smile back . I owe them too much . I don't want to talk much about SS2 because it's the most painful day in my whole life .

I gained so much strength after that . but not as much as you thought . I am still .. regret . I regret it so much . It's not that I regret that I don't want to go . I regret on how my mum doesn't even understand what's the meaning of love . Sigh . that's too sad . You people should thanked god to have such an awesome family .

Lets move on . I've been bashed so much by the malaysian who doesn't support my liking towards korean . Like heck . but look , I am still strong . thank you to the one who said me looked like a completely stupid person liking them . Thanks ;) Thanks also to someone who said I will fail in my exams , because of too much liking them . Thanks ! I am really grateful to hear that . That makes me even stronger . HAHA .

To be honest , I've never once cheated on SJ . I have always be an ELF and forever will I be . There's too many dramas happens and I am still me and not going anywhere . I love them 13+2 just fair and square . and obviously , I am into Donghae more than that . Why I love them ? Do loving them need a reason now ? I just love them for the way they are . It's pure love . Feel it . Even when Geng leave SJ , when shindong is married to Nari , when Kibum finally said that he's going solo and when the possibility seeing them in another 8 years can't be trusted , I want to still be the ELF , that SJ always knew . The ELF that always be with them in and out , bad and goods . come on , we can all be like this . Always Keep The Faith .

By that means , Lets keep the never ending love and support them forever . I am going on hiatus again and sure , I will miss everyone . Every single of you who still read this silly blog of mine . I will be back on Donghae's birthday or even earlier than that . Wait for me , okay ? I love you all :D

ps: My beloved twinnie nia syuraina , I'm so glad that you're born to this world and makes me feel protected . I love you and happy birthday dearie ! I'm sorry there's no special post for you and no present . sorry :(

It's hard

2010-07-23T16:01:00.002+08:00

Sometimes , when we worked so hard on something , the result may not be beautiful . Believe it

but in my case , whatever happens in this world , I still wants to believe in these guys . and only these guys .

Nina

Hi , Bye

2010-07-17T10:26:00.001+08:00

Hae , did you know that I'm hurting ? It's so hurt as hell . I can't take it anymore . I haven't even swallow the fact that I'm not there for your SS2 , but here comes SS3 . why hae , Why this happens to me ? after stupid exam results , grandma passed away and SS2 , this just heck . I'm sad .

:)

2010-06-27T09:14:00.003+08:00

I hate people who told me to write something more useful other than writing about them . if you're bored with my blog , just leave . I don't like to expose about my life . super junior IS my life :)

ps : I do read your blog and I do take-a-look at your blog everyday , but that doesn't mean I'm the one who did that . please take note .

I give up on my suck-ish life .

2010-06-23T16:41:00.005+08:00

I don't know why I get these craps marks , everyone know how hardworking i am these months , It's an unexpected results . Seriously . Never in 2010 i get to sleep more than 4 hours . Back from school , bath , study , didn't sleep at all , go tuition , do homeworks , and finally sleep at 1 o'clock in the morning . I just give up . I REALLY GIVE UP . what for I studied to get SHIT marks ? hah ? I did it well , and I thought it was really easy , but crap , I don't know where did I do the mistakes , I don't even know why I did that . I know the answer . Sigh , PMR will be like 4 months away and I'm not ready , yet . I'm sad . So I think after this , no more 4 hours sleeping , 2 hours maybe ? *wink

If mom asked me , why my results were this bad , I will answer , ' I already did my best , you saw it too , how my blood pressure increasing day by day , this is my luck , I'm going to work hard after this , I'm sorry ' . I will add this in my heart ' but don't blame me if , I get sick too often , I just want to satisfy you . That's it ' :)

PLUS

Geng's news . I'm not sad , I am really happy for him . I really do . but well , I can't help myself to cry whenever i saw his face . It's not that I hate him , It's not that I don't support him , It's not that I don't like him go solo , but the fact is , the memories geng with sj members were flying around my mind . Can't help it , I miss them too much . ELF , don't hate him . Remember that we promised leader to be one forever ? He's still a part of suju , Suju will still be 13 members . Even if he leaves suju , It will be for his own good . We will be happy if he's happy . Come on everyone , Smile for me please ? :)

I WANT TO THANK super junior who gave me the strength to smile . Just by hearing your voice , I know you're with me , and I know you will forever be . Lets believe only in each other . I need you the most :( Please stay healthy , as always .

BUT WHATEVER IT IS , whatever may happen , I will still be the strong haenina , who doesn't scared of anything. I want to be me . It's hard to be nur khairina .

Please Love Super Junior a lot .

2010-06-19T15:19:00.005+08:00

Super Junior , Super Junior , Super Junior .

Some of you may think that I love them for fun ,
Some of you may think that I just love their looks ,
Some of you may thing that I'm a stupid obsessed fangirl ,
Some of you may think that I'm a crazy person .

Whatever you're going to say , Whatever everyone around me are going to say , whatever my parents are going to say , whatever my siblings are going to say ,

I WILL NOT STOP SUPPORT , LOVE AND STAND BY THEM .

They means a lot to me , each single person of them . Let me tell you a story about them , so you people can stop hating them and say they're overrated .

Park Jungsoo ,
This guy stage name is Leeteuk , that means special . He may not be as muscular as yunho , as cute as onew , as dorky as seungho , as awesome as GD but He is one true leader that I respect the most in this kpop fandom . You may see him smiling all the way everyday , greet the elders in such a cheerful way , never forget to great the fans even if he's busy and always smiling all the way . But did you know that he's in pain ? Think of it , is it THAT easy to control 12 + 2 naughty guys ? He may not be as leadership as yunho , but park jungsoo managed to feed 12 + 2 guys and they're all in such a good condition . He may not be as cute as onew because he's grown old , even if he's already old , he will be the cutest leader in my heart . He may not be as dorky as seungho is , but he can make me laugh with his own laugh . He may not be as awesome as GD who can compose his own song , but Park Jungsoo , this guy , is awesome in his own ways . He will be the most cute , dorky and awesome leader in ELF's heart . Please love and follow this leader a lot .

Kim Heechul .
He has two cats . Their names are bangshin and heebum . I'm positive myself , these two cats , if they can speak like human , they will spill all heechul's secret and how heechul feel everyday . I'm not going to lie about kim heechul being so self centered , bad tempered , full of himself and a selfish . but that was wayyy back then . The old Kim Heechul who thinks of himself has changed now . He's not like that . Plus now , he always care about his 11+2 dongsaengs and his friend , leader jungsoo . He's become the strong heechul , he's become the heechul who always be there with his members . Even though he looks gay and pretty , he is actually a very kind person . Please love Kim Heechul a lot.

Tan HanGeng ,
A very kind man . A very very kind man . Never in his life to oly think about himself . Geng is also SJ-M's leader and did only the best for his dongsaengs . He isn't a selfish guy . If he is , then why would he helped kyuhyun when kyuhyun feel so cold during It's You MV filming ? He loves his parents . Geng donates all of his money in his account to help the earthquake's victim way back years ago . He can't join Heechul to prank other members because he's too innocent . About this law suit thingy , I believe that he's on the right side . I know SME so well . I believe Geng did all this for us and for his own sake . He don't want to suffer anymore . Even members didn't know what happen to him , He's too secretive . My chinese guy , please love geng a lot .

Kim Jongwoon
This dorky boy , who has a big head and a small hands . At first , this kind-hearted boy has only a turtle . but then , he feels that his turtle might feel lonely to live alone , so , he went to the shop , and bought another two . But sometimes he ended up regretting for being so jealous with heechul , because of heechul he two cates , the turtles that he bough not doing anything , only blinking at him . Fail jongwoon. I adore his voice .He always thought he wasn't a good singer for this world wide but When he sings , everyone will be melt just by hearing his voice . We can cry if he sing ballad song even though we didn't even know what crap he's singing about .He loves to touch other members' philtrums. SJ members always said that he has a very weird aura . Our weir yesung always full of confidence . that's how awesome he is . The turtle ye , please love yesung a lot .

Kim Youngwoon ,
The appa of the group , the guy who always be beside teukie , this guy who always make us feel protected . He may be the cause of dramas that happen in suju now , he may be the one who cause us to cry and pray every night just for him . But come on , let's look at the bright side . There must be a reason why he did that . Maybe he's in stress ? Maybe he just got into a fight with his friends ? who knows right ? So , stop making bad speculations about him . He is really a nice guy . He loves his hyungs and dongsaengs so much . He loves his fans too . He once said that ' As like we strated together , let's put up the end together ' . That's our chubby-bear guy , Please love kangin a lot .

Shin Donghee ,
Say hello to our one of the best dancer in suju . Yes , he's Nari unnie's guy . Back then , I was so sad about what happen between donghee and nari , but when time passes , i realized that he's become happier than before . At that point , I've started to like Nari a lot . I know she will do her best to take care of donghee and unnie , promise me to take care of my guy okay ? i love you :) Shindong may be a guy who's fat , who eat a lot but one thing you must know about him , his confidence level as high as mountain Everest . He confessed in a show that he early make a decision to leave suju because he think he didn't suit to be with suju good looking guys , but Teuk came and calm him down . Without shindong , there's no ' ddanddandara ddandaraddan 's dance . So , our bearbear dongdong , please love our shindong a lot .

Lee Sungmin ,
Same like his heechul hyung , this guy have two cats , named hyaku and sen . Hyaku and Sen are lucky enough to have such a lovable owner like ming . This guy is feminine outside and tough inside . He never cry in front of everybody . When they won MKMF 2008 , he's the one who wiped away his dongsaengs tears . but when they go backstage , he cried a lot . He never easily can be sad . Such a cheerful guy . When he is sad , he will be terribly sad and we can see the sadness on his face . In Super Junior , he's the most lucky guy . He have 6 hyungs behind his back to give him support , and he has 6 dongsaengs after him who need his support to stand properly . Lee Sungmin is a very pure feminine guy . Please do love this cute sungmin alot .

Lee Hyukjae ,
The first thing that came up in your mind when you first hear his name will be ' dancing machine ' . Yeah , he makes the dance for boom boom and he even composed an awesome song . Lee Eunhyuk on the stage will be not be the same as Lee Hyukjae off stage . He is indeed a very sensitive man . He can cry very easily . CRY BABY HYUK. He loves his members too much . He will cry if someone asked him about super junior , about their friendship . Bestfriend with xiah junsu and these two guys love to prank people so much . bad bad guy . Hyuk have been said is the dirtiest members . but the truth is , he likes to keep everything clean . Just hmmm , we can do nothing about his foot odor . Hyuk's love towards SJ is as high as mount Everest . He always thought them as their hyungs and dongsaengs .Lately , He's been working a lot to show people that he is capable to do anything . Please love our hyukjae a lot .

Lee Donghae ,
Our baby fishy who loves his father a lot . Donghae is a very hardworking man . He loves to work a lot . He will dance until like the stage going to break into two . He lost his father when his first debut in suju . He wants his father to be there during super show . He believe that his father is now happy in heaven because he get to see his son being an idol . Donghae loves his fans a lot lot lot . He always tell his fans to always be healthy , always be healthy and always be healthy . When Suju member fought , he always told them , aren't they're in a group ? aren't we're brothers ? what are we now ? why did you fight ? He wants to be forever in the group and follow only what leader teuk said . He's such a lovable guy . Please love our donghae a lot .

Choi Siwon ,
Chocolate abs man . This man is perfect . What can't he do ? He can do almost everything . He have everything that everyone's need in this world . He have a lovely family , perfect brothers who always been there with them , supporting fans and so much more . However , the thing that i find this man cute is , he loves coke too much . Did you watch super show dvd ? Donghae wants to drink some of his coke , but he don't wanna give him . Bad Siwon . But nahh , this guy's attitude is perfect . A man who is full of gestures . Skin-shipping a lot with other members . Kissed heechul twice . He's not gay , he's just PERRRRRRRRRRRRFECT . Please love our Siwon more .

Kim Ryeowook ,
Wookie wookie wookie wookie ~ He's eternal magnae of SJ . even though he has two dongsaengs after him , he still act like a magnae . A cute magnae . Along with geng , he's one of the chef in SJ dorm . Wookie will cook korean food and geng will cook his famous beijing fried rice . Wookie too is the main singer in SJ along with Kyu and yesung . Wookie loves SJ a lot . He'd one shed tears when his brat members prank on him in a show called Exploration of Human Body . He never showed us that he's sad . His happy face makes me believe that he's doing well . When he cried , his members will prepare to cry with him too . He's just too precious . Please love our ryeong more .

Kim Kibum ,
Gamebum , Pretty boy who catches a lot of fans heart . A well known successful actor . Even though he isn't doing any activities for the time being , he's still in SJ . ' Whatever it is , I will not leave SJ ' . That's his promise to us . Kibum is a very kind and cheerful child , shy guy , hardworking guy , game-holic too. Even though he's known as a cheerful guy , he always sits on his own in a corner while his hyungs were all busy talking and laughing . He becomes sad when people started to say that he's less talkative and seldom smile . His cutest gesture is to cover his mouth when he's laughing . He may live away from them , but his heart will always be forever with other members . Please love our kibum a lot .

Cho Kyuhyun ,
Dancekyu , magnaekyu , slidekyu , wittykyu , bratkyu , this guy suffer the most through out this 4 years . The accident that happen 3 years ago , really shocked all of us alot . Fans were praying for him to come back days and nights . He's so near to not returning . Miracle happens , with members , fans and families prayer , we get to see him back . To see the magnae kyu who always brighten up our days . He always act like a brat in front of his hyungs . He did everything that can make his hyungs mad . but that's why we love our evil magnae right ? He just loves to tease the members too much . Cho Kyuhyun loves his 12+2 hyungs a lot . When one of his hyung is sad , he will come to them and give some hugs . He said that members took care of him so well . KYU LOVES GAME . everyone knows it well enough . he well yell cutely late at night , because he lost the game . How cute . He's one of the main vocal in SJ and currently the main dancer of SJ too . Even though he always act spoiled , i believe that is his aegyo . Please leave our magnae gamekyu a lot .

I hope everyone including antis can read this and love them. They need our support . Please love super junior child a lot .

Farewell , going to be away until PMR . good luck everyone .

I'm back with a super duper long update :)

2010-06-18T22:21:00.003+08:00

SEXY , SEXY , SEXY . hyukjae , donghae . I want you in my room now . LMAO PERVERTNINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !

HELLO EVERYONE ~!
I've been so busy lately , busy with exams , busy with bonamana , busy with shopping .
Sigh , Life is hard and painful right ? but whatever it is , I'm going to be the nina who always strong to stand by suju . suju , ily

How's my life ? Hmm , Fine , maybe ? I don't know . I've been making my life only towards study , facebook , twitter , suju , rain , mblaq and nothing else . I'm not lying . I just know that U-Kiss is coming to Malaysia yesterday , and BEAST's concert today . I'm a noob . Yes , I truly am .

That's not exactly i want to say right now , I want to talk about something else .

It's about music bank , kyuhyun , triple S , Kangin .

I JUST DIED . MING , YOU , ....

First ! music bank . We lost for two consecutive weeks . How sad is that you tell me now ? I've been trial listening Bonamana for at least 100 times a day ( or more ) but I think Soribada is being biased . Sigh . and i heard it's antis work suju lost to SS501 . looks like we're not done , yet , with those antis huh ? What they want exactly ? Oh antis , how precious , you know you can't make us stop loving suju , so just give up . You're tired . positive with that . You're tired that we're actually going to love suju more than you can imagine . I will appreciate all your hard works . Should I give you a trophy then ? lol

Kyuhyun , yuyun-ah , gamekyu-ah , magnaekyu-ah , how have you been ? ahh ~ this little fan of yours is misssssssssssssssssing you like crazy . HOW TO KEEP LOVING YOU ~ i miss to hear it from you . I love ming's version though . oh yuyun , your ming misses you . how sweet ~ and CHO KYUHYUN , COME BACK NOW . this freaking math is pissing me off AND GRR , I NEED YOU TO HELP ME SOLVE IT . come on genius kyu , come back now .

Triple S , I hope Triple S who will read this will not throw stones to me . I'M JUST SAYING THIS BECAUSE THIS IS HOW I FEEL . okay stop hating me , love me la~ . I'm just pissed off when some of the triple S said ' MY OPPAS SHOULD WIN MUSIC BANK ! THEY'RE BETTER THAN SUJU ' . oh shut up . and some of you said ' ELFs are overrated ' . AND EVEN IF WE'RE OVERRATED , WE'RE ACTUALLY BETTER THAN YOU . we don't bash kpop groups , did we ? We will be violence bitch towards people who bash suju . actually , we're all a kind hearted girl . and puhlease , BOF fans stop bitching . stop all those ' minho oppa i love youuu ' . and stop mistaken kim bum as kibum's suju . WAY TOO DIFFERENT . I always wonder why ELF and Suju got bash the most . ( we know we're so awesome ) . Super Junior works their butt off for sorry sorry and bonamana , BUT , SS501 get their poularity just because leader acted in high rated drama . but at the end , It's SJ who get bashed the most , It's SJ who people hate the most , It's SJ who people think that they're overrated . WTF IS THIS ? . oh come on TS , stop making this childish war . your idols are not that awesome . I'm not biased . Please look more on talent and hard works , NOT LOOKS . thanks . and leeminho is SUPERUGLY :D not lying .

Kangin , Kim Youngwoon . I wonder why this man loves to make me cry . You will enter the army soon . and I'm going to be really sad . I need you , I need 13 of you . Kangin-ah , I've a major exam this year . I really need your support to go through it . but it seems like you're going to leave me for 2 years . 2 years will be really the pain in the butt . but no matter what , I'm going to promise you one thing , I will make sure myself not cheating on you . Although I know in this two years , there will be so many groups will debut , and why should I care right kang ? I still in love with suju and forever will be . Do sure to come back with a real man . The man who always full of confidence . the man who always say ' ELF , you're my everything ' . Kangin-ah , I don't know how will I face my day without you . Can I survive ? I don't know :( I hope you will be happy with your new life . We will always there standing beside you , to support you , to love you , and to be your forever fans . Everlastingfriends ae-yo ~!

are you boring reading this post ? my life is all about kpop . nothing really happens in my life . kpop makes my life be something really fun . have fun reading more .

I really love being an ELF . I really love being with them for nearly 2 years . and I'm going to state it for you now . I AM ONLY A FAN OF SUPER JUNIOR , RAIN AND MBLAQ . That makes me ELFcloudA+ . but nah , It's more to suju side . Suju is my everything , Rain is my elder brother while MBLAQ is my clown that makes me happy everyday . I do adore other groups too . I'm not an anti of 2PM , SS501 or VIP . I love every kpop groups and they're great and perfect in their own ways . Everyone said , they will stop liking kpop if their fav group disband . you know , nothing can last forever other than GOD . I will still be an ELF even though suju disband .

STOP SAYING BAD ABOUT GENG PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! I'm screaming my lungs out TO ALL OF YOU , stop saying something bad about geng . like khun said in with out you ' everything happens for a reason ' . Geng decide to make this law suit because he want to . WE KNOW NOTHING . WE REALLY KNOW NOTHING . stop making speculations about geng . about how selfish he can be . about how bad he can be ' ABOUT HOW HE RUINED HIS MEMBERS CAREER . YOU REALLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM . only he , himself know , why he did this . He's a kind man . He really is a strong man . I'm sure he did all this for his own good sake . We should just support him . support 13 . just that .

Hello so-called-ELF . I'm a true ELF . nice to meet you . oh ? hyukjae , lee hyukjae is overrated ? hmm , i think you NEED to see eye-doctor so that you can see his TALENT CLEARLY . this awesome guy , how can he too be overrated ? give the others chance ? okay what ? he barely get any lines to sing , yet you can say he has to give others chance . Everyone has their own screen times . He's the spotlight because he's the main dancer . Then what about teuk ? he gets the most screen times . What about KRY ? who gets to sing the lines the most ? Eunhae business makes you disgusted but for us , TRUE FANS , they're not . They love each other . Bestfriend since trainees . They're giving us fanservice . you should at least be happy with that because they're happy . NOT BASH , STOOPIG . SJ without him will be like your body without nose . the end , thank you :)

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, THIS IS THE END . I've nothing to talk about my life T_T I'll be log off now and will be updating back daily after PMR . oh know something ? I've started to write a malay fic . *tukarbahasa* ini dia sinopsis (?) tentang fic ni :

HELLO :D Nama saya Nina Park Eun Mi . Boleh panggil saya nina , eun mi , mimi , comel , cantik atau apa apa lagi . 17 tahun . muda lagi . Saya menetap di Seoul . Bersekolah berdekatan dgn rumah saya . Itu semua awak tak perlu tahu . Yang awak perlu tahu , saya memang benci mamat yang bernama lee donghae . Reasons ? entah la . saya pun tak tau . Maybe dia yang playboy itu sangat membuatkan saya rasa nak TERMUNTAH . okay right .

sngt PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT . the end , bye :) I will miss you . Pray for me to do well in PMR . iloveyouall . and welcome new readers <3

PS : I'm sorry if you're bored reading this . sorry :(

Kangin , Park Youngwoon , Korea No 1 handsome guy , Korea No 1 raccoon

2010-05-04T13:34:00.004+08:00

I'm missing this beast , dork , jerk , brat and angel .

I TELL YOU WHAT ,

I DON'T LIKE THEIR NEW ALBUM CONCEPT , WHY SO MATURED ?

I CRIED ABOUT KANGIN WANTED TO LEAVE US AND GO TO THE ARMY ,

WHY EVERYTHING HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING WRONG ?

WHATTHEHECK ?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE DID I DO WRONG UNTIL I DESERVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS .

SOMEONE MIGHT BE HATE ME .

PLEASE , i don't want 10+2 , i want 13+2 . how can I proud about you more with my friends ? you're leaving me , that's the fact . now , it will be only 10 . CAN YOU THINK THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND ? DAMN .

look , I'm only 15 , not yet 15 to be true . I know nothing about everything that happen in the world . That's the fact . In this world , I only know you . But , look at what you did to me ? you've said that we are forever 14 . WHY TURN OUT THIS WAY ?

okay maybe i'm not a girl who really understands how you feel or maybe i'm a girl who is selfish , but yeah , really , I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU .

never ever in my life , i feel like i'm going to lose someone . never ever in my life , i cried for someone who don't know me . never ever in my life , i've no mood because of someone .

Kangin-ah , look at how much this effect me . look at how much i miss you . mann , look at how much i love you . maybe , you're the one who is selfish .

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO THINKS OF YOURSELF .

how can I be so relax ? knowing that one of my other half will be away . for 2 years . 24 MONTHS , 730 DAYS . and at that time , i don't know , if i've leave my fangirl life or not .

I HOPE I WILL NOT . because i know , it might not happen anway .

I Love you, we know we love each other. Even though we don’t say we’re one, we know we’re one. 13 - Lee Donghae -

Thanks hae , you makes me feel calm . THANKYOUSOMUCH

ps : after this , i will change my layout into hiatus layout as i feel like no on even read my blog . what for leaving my blog in dust ? i'll be back after pmr . that's my promise

The one i truly love ,

2010-05-01T22:01:00.002+08:00

Unnie teyna/aina ,
You know , my twitter page will be dull without you ,
Even tadi , i asked myself , where's hyukiut ?
There's always hyukiut who accompany me ,
There's always hyukiut who tegur me first ,
There's always hyukiut who brought me to laugh ,
There's always hyukiut who can stand my failure-ness in twitter ,
There's always hyukiut's name appear when YGholic and I are tweeting ,
There's always hyukiut who always update me about kpop ,
There's always hyukiut's tweet appear in my home ,
There's always hyukiut who i can spazz about how silly hyuk and pabo hae is ,
but you know what's the saddest thing now ?
She's leaving me ,
She's leaving twitter ,
She's leaving hyuk ,
She's leaving everyone .
I'm happy for her , she got to the university that she wants ,
but at the same time , i don't want to loose her .
Gahhh ~ what can i do now ?
I will miss the one who always stay up with me ,
I will miss the one who always so hyper in tweeter ,
I will miss the one who brought me to laugh ,
I will miss the one who always can stand my failure-ness and stupidity ,
I will miss the one who always talks to YGholic in hangul ,
I will miss the one who always be the one updates me about kpop ,
I will miss the one who always appear with her silly tweet on my twitter's home ,
I will miss the one who always spazz about everything in twitter ,
yah unnie , i will miss all of this can ?
Lets wonder who's going to accompany me when i want ti study and not sleep ?
UGH , i hate myself .
What i want to say now is , you've to work hard to be a dentist , okay ?
please try to like biology a bit XD
ahh ~ please do make a lot of money so that you can treat me when you came back from jordan (?) ,
inivite me to your wedding day too , XD
study hard , make your family proud of you , and i'm proud to be one of your dongsaeng .
i may be tak pernah lagi say to you this , but seriously , i love you , my sister ! :D

UNNIE FIGHTING !

2010-04-20T01:30:00.002+08:00

save this post .
I will somehow talks about 19 april later .
how much this date , suffer me the most.
and you know , I HAVE LOTSA THINGS TO TELL , lotsa words to type .
after trial i guess ? see you soon :)

2010-04-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

save this post .
I will somehow talks about 19 april later .
how much this date , suffer me the most.

2010-04-05T22:23:00.002+08:00

I'M TIRED OF EVERYTHING .
I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP ON EVERYTHING I DID .
I CAN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE .
and that makes my blood pressure increases to :

157

I am really really really really tired .

2010-04-04T23:27:00.001+08:00

SAVE FOR RASCAL HYUKJAE

emoemoemoemoemo

2010-04-03T02:12:00.003+08:00

I miss old times , PFFT

' We are by your side on the way while you are looking for your dreams . No matter what future may bring, we will still clapping hands for you '

I can't take it anymore . I miss my 13 guys .
I miss the one who gives me courage in silence .
I miss the one who gives me love in silence .
I miss the one who loves me in silence .
I miss the one who cheer for me in silence .
I miss the one who pray for me in silence .
I miss the one who protect me in silence .
I miss the one who supports me in silence .
I miss the one who alwas gives me goodnight kiss in silence .
I miss the one who always gives me supportive words in silence .
I miss the one who makes me laugh in silence .
I miss the one who cheer me up in silence .
I miss the one who always tell me to be healthy in silence .
I miss the one who always smile evilly for me in silence .

We've the silence love . You and Me . I know you but you don't know me . But it doesn't matter , right ? as long as you know me as your ELF and i know you as my Super Junior , it's all settle . and now , I miss you . more than anything else . Please come back faster . I can't stand it anymore . Lee Donghae , I miss you the most . SERIOUSLY .

I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU

My love , I miss you :(

Puff the magic dragon ~

2010-04-02T14:12:00.006+08:00

Gee gee gee gee , baby baby baby baby

Fuhh hah !

nurse : O_O *seeatthecheckbloodpressurethingy* you penat ke ?

nina : tak la , okay je

nurse : berapa jam you tido ?

nina : humm , usually 3 hours je but yesterday i go for 2 hours .

nurse : eh your blood pressure a little bit high tau .

nina : HAHHHHH ?!

nurse : 118 . not that high but it's going to be high . you better sleep 6 or 5 hours .
nina : *i wish i can* if not means ?
nurse : you pengsan nanti . luckily you've antibody yang sngt kuat . or else you dah lama passed out .
nina : ooooookay . thank you
nurse : =) .

blehh , kakak nurse , if i sleep for 5 or 6 hours , i won't be getting result for my UB1 like this :

BM : 88 A *passed* ( I got 10/10 on my novel's part XD )

BI : 88 A *passed*

SC : 82 A *passed*

Math : 80 A *passed*

Sejarah : 82 A *passed*

Agama : 86 A *passed*

KHB : 68 B *failed*

Geografi : 68 B *failed*

6A2B . Thank God . I'm satisfied myself . I've never get result this good . I feel so great . I'm going to get more and more As. and less and less sleep ? lol . am trying myself to get some sleep . but when should I sleep with this schedule i did everyday ?

4.30 am : Iron my uniform
5.00 am : reads novel ( it's a must . I've to improve my lack BM )
5.30 am : bath , ready to school
6.10 am : Van picks me up . go to school
6.45 am : arrives at school .
7.20 am : study session starts
1.10 pm : study session ends
1.45 pm : back from school / lunch / pray
2.30 pm : take care of tok mak / study
4.00 pm : go tuition
6.30 pm : back from tuition / bath / pray
8.00 pm : take care of tok mak / do homeworks
11.00 pm : went to bed / not sleeping / pray / tidy up my bag
1.00 or 2.00 am : Sleep

Sigh . so PACK ! blahblahblah . no matter what happen , am going to study harder than i ususally do . hehe . OH AND I AM SAVING MY MONEY FOR LG LOLLIPOP . HEHEHEHHEHEHE . but but but , someone please ? can you recommend me what phone should I buy , LG lollipop or samsung corby ? I love lollipop but i found somewhere someone said it has only normal function . and no bubble font , PFFFFFFT ! i love samsung corby too but it's common now . everyone's getting it ! i want something that is cute =D and i think , Lollipop is better than lollipop 2 . like seriously . lollipop 2 doesn't have LED light XD you know what's the function of LED light ? it's like glowstick and don't you think LG lollipop is made for fangirl ? XD if you have LG lollipop then you don't have to buy glowstick . lol okay . I'm getting my blue's LG lollipop after PMR but someone can you tell me what are the bad things about LG lollipop , please ? *widesmile*

I received this on 15/3/2010 .

I swear this was just too big for me . wore it to tuition and bahh , none of them know SJ . like shit . wore it again to Jusco and some of them were starring at me . some of them were smiling at me too . you don't have any idea how proud was me at that time . I'm really really proud to be one of the millions everlastingfriends. I LOVE THE COLOUR TOO ! OH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHHH XD

I miss this guy , THAT'S IT .

ps: I'm addicted with puff the magic dragon - cho kyuhyun . sue him :P

Boys in City photobook

2010-03-31T01:34:00.005+08:00

I think that , I'm going to die soon .

Detail Features

1) Photobook
- Size : 180 * 220 mm
- Total 436p

2) Special Gift
- Postcard : 64pcs
- DVD(Running time : 42min./ narrator : Sung Min, Kyu Hyun)

3) Poster

WHY IT HAS TO BE SO DAMN EXPENSIVE ?! I was searching for my folios and ended up found this thing . YES ! I WILL BUY IT NO MATTER WHAT ! and it's a relive that it does not have any stupid calendar with it . RM 184.00 is such a large amount and i know , i have to choose whether boys in city photobook or 4th album . PFFFFT . and about the most awesome shit part of this book is , KYUMIN WILL BE THE NARRATOR OF THE VIDEO ! OHMYGOD CHO KYUHYUN AND LEE SUNGMINNNNNNNN ! my otp forever . BUT EH , IT SHOULD BE EUNHAE INSTEAD OF KYUMIN ! but nevertheless , I'm happy . shit , SEE HOW MUCH PAGES ?! 436 ( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ) *laugh* this is better than sushow , i guess ? but PFFT again , I've used my sushow money to buy other things . Nur Khairina Khairulmuzammil why are you so stupid ? and do you think your mom will allow you buy this book? PFFT . I don't care anymore. I WANT THIS BOOK but money laa . I can see my wallet is screaming and screaming not to take out any money anymore . HAHA PFFFFFFT I'm having headaches ! grr

Sigh , I heard somewhere that this would be the last photobook regarding all the cases they have been through . I don't want this to really happen . I think , I WILL LEAVE KOREAN FANDOM IF SUJU IS NOT THERE . remember ? I only love SUJU and it will be only SUJU who deserves my love . I don't know . I really don't know .

Hankyung-ah , I'm so glad you're fatter ! YAY FOR YOU ! YAY FOR ME TOO ! YAYYY ;(

gotta sleep now .

Short update

2010-03-29T01:25:00.004+08:00

Hae , If you cry , I will cry with you too . So Lets cry together . Don't keep it in your heart. Just let it out .

Fuhh , there's so many songs came out and one of them is SNSD - RUN DEVIL RUN . okay , I know there's alot of Kesha's fan were mad at Sones and SNSD . wtf ? It is not Kesha's song bytheway . She only did a demo . SMEnt bought it . It not belongs to Kesha , It belongs to SNSD . I hate Kesha's version . So 'rock' and boyish . I hate Kesha's song . What is so good about tik tok huh ? tell me . pfft . I just wanna say that because a lot of Kesha's fan out there claim run devil run as Kesha's . Get the hell out of here la . I'm an SNSD fan bytheway if you did not know . HAHA .

People , stop remind me of super show ? well i will ask you if i want to hear about your story . no need to ' i went to super show ' , ' why you did not go to super show ? ' , i thought you're a fan of them ' PFFFFFFFFFFFFT . fyi my dear , I don't even feel a little bit of jealous towards the fans who can go . I AM NUR KHAIRINA and the person named nur khairina usually are AWESOME . I'm tired of saying ' whatever ' . sigh . go study and score straight As for PMR la , don't bother me . grr .

In the next entry , I will talk about trip to Pesta Buku with full of laughter . credits to Izreen who show her idiotness that day XD

I'm waiting for 4jib ! 4JIBDAEBAK !

I should sleep now before the clock strike to 2AM ( !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD )
bye bye .

ELF

2010-03-22T23:06:00.003+08:00

I don't feel like talking about super show anymore . Watch this and read the video's comments:

Shit . I don't want to talk about other ELF but I feel like, I have to talk about them . Mann , Why other people's country have to hate when Malaysian ELF support 15 ? I really don't understand them . Aren't ELF supposed to be one ? we're EVERLASTINGFRIENDS , remember ? I know how much K-ELF , C-ELF , Thai ELF , Taiwan ELF wants only13 . Just get over it my dear . They're not a part of SJ , why have to make such fuss ? Even Leader has said please support SUPER JUNIOR . aren't super junior M is SUPER JUNIOR TOO ? damn it . Now , ELF all over the world hate us because of this . YOU'RE A FOOL . A real fans will not behave this way . YAH ! I'M NOT TALKING THAT I DON'T WANT ONLY13 ! as much as i want only13 , I can't bare to see henry and zhoumi are sad .

R u crazy Malay FAN!!!
Super Junior alway & forever 13 member
Why u try to add more ???

ELF is person that believe & protect 13 member if u can't do this so don't call yourself ELF it DISAPPOINTED!!!

nina : oh really ? that is so funny of you . WE DON'T WANT TO ADD MORE . WHO SAID WE WANT MORE ?! fool . I call myself as an ELF because I love , support and believe Super Junior . When I said Super Junior , It'll be not only13 . I love fifteen of them . what disappointed ? we're making our choi siwon proud of us . Don't you feel happy too if siwon love us ? HE LOVES THE ONLY15 FAN . aren't you jealous with us ? HAHA .

I really don't want us to separate . We're EverLastingFriends . Remember that we promised SJ that we will be one ? So why turn out this way ? And when will ever Sapphire Blue cover the whole world if we behave like this ? We're helping Leader to make his wish come true . So please behave , please understand each other, please don't look down on each other . We're equal . Everyone is the same . We're EverLastingFriends . Please remember that . WE ARE EVERLASTINGFRIENDS . ELF . We can make it better than any other fanclub if we're one . We can help leader to make his wish come true if we're one . So lets be together . If we go through hard times , I want us to be together . We're EverLastingFriends .

Sea Of Blue .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I miss everything about you , I miss you . Why can't you see ? I miss you .

2010-03-22T14:32:00.004+08:00

I am , surprisingly , can accept the fact that , I didn't go to SuperShow II
I'm so surprised myself .
I feel like , nothing happened two days ago .
My brain shut-ed down . I feel like nothing !
Oh man, I'm awesome , don't you agree with me ?
I AM FREAKING AWESOME !
I did heard stories about super show here and there and you know what I think of ?
' Doesn't mean If I did not went to Super Show , I'm not an ELF anymore . '
BAHAHAHAH , I told you , I'm awesome to think like that , lol
I will continue tonight . I just want to write this .
I AM AWESOME !

ps: There must be a reason why I'm not there with you , I'm not dissapointed though because I will always there beside you . Wherever you go , wherever you are . I'm there standing beside you and I feel that you're so near to me . We're near in our heart . To the ELF who did not go , Don't feel dissapointed , there must be a reason why God make our life this way . Who knows we can get more than what we want nanti ? We never know how our life will end up . Keep on praying to God . ;) Super Junior sure know and understand why you didn't come to see them . They UNDERSTAND us . =)

WHY ?

2010-03-08T14:01:00.005+08:00

as much as i want only 13 members in super junior , i still support henry and zhoumi .

SJM and SJ has a damn lot of differences .

I want only Leeteuk to Kyuhyun in SJ but that doesn't mean i hate henry and zhoumi .
I LOVE THEM TOO .

please don't hate them.

and this is how henry feels :

(Anonymous)
2010-03-07 11:20 pm UTC (link)
Dear all,I really don't understand. Aren't people supposed to care and to protect what is their own? We speak the same language, eat the same food, have the same customs and yet we are not welcome in our own country to perform. All we want to do is to express ourselves through performing and music but how can we do this when there is so much hate? Don't you find it funny how we can perform in every other country without any problems except for our own home country? I I left my friends, family, and everything else back in Canada to pursue a dream all alone here in Asia. As a result, I have been hated ever since I first debuted in Korea in 2006 from fans. What more do you want from me? How do you think I or we both feel every time we go up on stage knowing people will be screaming for us to get off? I've tried to laugh it off for far too long now and can't hold it in anymore. Just to let you know…we have feelings too. I will continue to work my hardest to bring the best performances for you all but today I'd just like to let you know a little about how I feel in the inside. I'm almost all out of breathe.
However...
qinxian1 men...
mitang2 men…
xiexie nimen3
Thank you so much
I hope you all understand what I'm feeling.

1 Strings
2 Honeys
3 Thanks you all

why people can't understand ? PLEASE DON'T HATE HENRY AND ZHOUMI . for the millions time i said . PLEASE DON'T HATE HENRY AND ZHOUMI . they're human beings too . I can see how hurt were them and I don't want them to hate me . ONLY13 will be ONLY13 . theres no changes in that. like i said , as much as i wanted only 13 in suju , why can't we support henry and zhoumi too ? I can promise you that henry and zhoumi WILL NEVER be part of suju . so , don't worry about only13 thingy . please support and love FIFTEEN of them . don't make our precious henry and zhoumi hurts more .

Up to the date

2010-02-28T15:42:00.003+08:00

Adik , I need youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu :(

There's many things happens nowadays huh ?

1) SM RESIGNING .
I don't know what to say . Does that old man thinks by resigning himself from being a ceo would solve all the problems ? damn him . Why are you so stupid ? This make everything going worse ! and stupid old man , wherever you are or whatever you did now , I still going to take my revenge on you . for make my boys ( husbands ) suffer to death . make sure you're still alive okay ? wait me at your doorstep . :)

2) Lee Hyukjae :(
Now what ? Lee hyukjae ? BABI FLU ?! I swear , if I can , I want to kill all the pigs. THEY BORN TO SUFFER MY HUSBANDS . wth ? grrr . and you lee hyukjae , stay at home , don't do anything , let your hyungs do it for you AND SLEEP ! take all medicine , don't missed them . I miss you and I'm so worried about you . You can see me crying all night and my eyes will go all fluffy and all that because of you :( Be back faster .

3) 2PM Jaebum .
I don't have anything to say as I'm not that kind of update with all those news . Jaebeom-ah , I don't understand anything . what are you trying to do ? We all have do a lot of things to you and why can't you see that we love you ? We want you back , we want park jaebum back . Why can't you see ? We've waited long enough . Please come back to us .

you two , WHY ARE YOU SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ?! DAMN IT !

Ookay , happy upcoming 1st march :) This is going to be hard as I can't join them at the concert . I've joined the hot fm contest and people , come to think of it , I'm just a not-yet-15 teenager and I don't think I can win . Well I want to win . but its going to be hard . It really depends on my luck . I hope something will really happen on the 20th march so that I can forget about the concert . so lets see , hmmm , on that day , I've tuition on the evening and i hope it s going to be until night but yeah , I know it will not . sigh . I'm going to times square . yeay me . and i think , I'll shop the hell out of me and I'm going to be happy the rest of week if I did that . I will not bother if Suju comes to Malaysia if I get those things that I want . I need happiness on that day . I hope 20th march will went fast . I really wish it to ! Sigh . my pathetic life. SIGH .

Now , haha , EVERYONE KNOW SUJU . That's a good news , but for me it is bad . I mean , I can't stand people to just love sorry sorry . mann it is HORRIBLE ! I don't want gedik girls to know suju , I don't want an indie lover to love suju . you know why ? if suju changed their concept being a cute guy and if suju had an earing on the left or right side , THEY'LL CALL THEM GAY ! double u tee eff la people . A cute guy , doesn't mean that he is a gay . A guy who has earings , doesn't mean that he is a gay . okay lets see, my father has once wearing a fake earings and what ? HE STILL HAVE DESIRE TOWARDS WOMAN ! see ? wakey wakey la people . Try to look at a person with a nice thought . can or not ? sigh .

I can't search for your new 13 pictures , why oh why ? :(

Park Jungsoo , Kim Heechul , Tan HanGeng , Kim Jongwoon , Park Youngwoon , Shin Donghee , Lee Sungmin , Lee Hyukjae , Lee Donghae , Choi Siwon , Kim Ryeowook , Kim Kibum and Cho Kyuhyun . I need all 13 members in my daily life to cheer me up . I miss the 13 of you . How have you been ? Fine ? I will keep on praying that one day , all 13 members will united back . Promise me to stay forever with me until my last breath okay ? if you do so and I swear I will keep my promise . Stay beside me :)

...........

2010-02-21T08:52:00.003+08:00

I want a person to hug me like this , someone ?

Hello ,
I've nothing to say because I'm not in a good mood , I was writing this and someone interrupt me by saying ' you've to stop a 9.30 ' . I was supposed to stop at 10.10 . I should wake up more earlier next time . I've so many things to tell , so many pictures to post , but what can I do ? in another 30 minutes , I'll be off . Its not fun . My life is just PLAIN boring . Don't you think so ? I've studied as hard as I can . Give me a break . I eat more , whats wrong with that ? Its explain that I was so busy with school's work until I didn't eat much . I gain weight . Isn't it a good thing ? Oh you want me to starve ? then how can I study in an empty condition of my stomach ? I want a calculator sleeve , to protect my calculator , why are you so stingy to even buy me one ? Its not that you've to go out somewhere to buy it . I can buy it online myself . Nevermind , I'm not broke yet , I can buy it myself . Its better to protect my calculator before it damage . You've to understand me , sometime ? Its obviously you did not understand me . Understand what I want . Sometimes you should give and take . I'm still a teenage girl and you're a woman . Why can't you treat me as your sister instead of a daughter ? I'm so dissapointed with your behaviour . Yeah , younger sisters and younger brother always do the right thing . I'm at the fault . Its all my fault . I'm sorry . I say sorry for so many times even when its not my fault . I'm so stressed. I love you , sincerely , with all my heart . but we keep have misunderstandings . and sometimes , sisters and brother should respect me . Man , I'm the eldest sister . The first daughter . but you treat me as your friend , as your slave . Good then . See what I'm going to do after PMR . I can't get mad , so what am I ? An immortal ? A rock ? Geez. I'm so dissapointed with my family's behaviour , seriously.

you be the judge . I've nothing to say other than hating DSP as much as I can . DSP , Don't make me hate your artist . I've started to hate them . I love A'st1 more than I love SS501 , clear enough ?

ps: I'll relink and reply your comments some other time ? I've to be happy first before I reply your tag :) Be happy people
pps : oh right , I create a formspring acc : http://www.formspring.me/haeeunmi . feel free to ask me anything and eveything .

Angry , mad .

2010-02-14T09:45:00.003+08:00

Please ?

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE FAKE ELF right?!

omg please lah people , I WON'T SEE YOU AN ELF if i don't see any qualities from you to make you an elf .

THERES NO NEED TO COME TO ME AND SAID ' OH I LIKE SJ AND SJ IS MINE ! '

wtf ? you know sj for like ... 2 months ago and now you claim sj as yours ?

GTFO . I'm mad okay ? I AM MAD !

serious talk here , I hate people , WHO ONLY LOVES SORRY SORRY !

yes i mean it .

I don't know why suddenly I'm angry AND HOH , no one ever respect me as an ELF for suju .

THEY THINK I'M BEING AN ELF FOR FUN IS IT ?! gahhh ~ FO .

Let me talk here , a serious talk .

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE THINK I'M BEING AN ELF FOR FUN , what do you expect for a two years fan being a fan for fun ?!

wtf man ~

I also hate when teacher know I'm a fan or korean and they said ' OH ITS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO HANDSOME . BOYS OVER FLOWER ! '

whattheheck .

Thats why i hate boys over flowers . AND SO MANY PEOPLE NOW LIKING KOREAN becuase its a trend now .

YOU WILL BE AN OUTDATED GIRL IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT KOREAN , fo again .

AND HAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHA ! if you were a fan , next time pleasee . TRY TO SPELL THEIR NAME PROPERLY XD . you were a fool , i must say it .

one sentence :

I want to say FO to people who suddenly got interested into kpop now .

I'm mad , not in a good mood :)

2010-02-09T20:08:00.001+08:00

HANNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :)

Cross Country

2010-02-07T09:27:00.004+08:00

The hugholic boy meets the skinship boy XD

Yesterday's cross country was EPICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC !
I TELL YOU WHAT ! I lose my voice XD

Okay lets start ,
Morning , went to school , did some warming up which end up they played some songs that i don't know , wtf ?
I was covering my ears because i don't want to hear those songs , so-not-my-song =.=
Then run , cross the town , soaking wet , and blablablabla

Lets just make it short , here comes the best part of the story .

I was resting with my friend under a tent and SUDDENLY ,

' I'm heart sick , heal me , be crazy ! '

OMG OMG OMG ! DAMN IT DAMN IT ! I shouted my lungs out
ITS BEAST ! i shouted ' beast ' like no one business and attention that time was on me ,
very funny . YAH FANGIRLS ! don't you want to shout too , WITH ME ?!
and no one shouted , only me and afrina and sme of the chinese girls shouts
okay then the song finished ,
IT CONTINUES WITH RING DING DONG !
I LOST MY SANITY ALREADY ! I stand up and keeps on shouting and singing .
nicole , remember i said i can't shout because i don't know how to shout right ?
lol , I can shout , I suddenly can shout XD

' RING DING DONG RING DING DONG ! '

some of them were standing and singing and shouting and screaming .
I WAS CHANTING THEIR NAME ! okay whatever , I'm so crazy .
Then then ,

' nal jongmal MYSTERY MYSTERY '

MYSTERY CAME OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !
again , me screaming my lungs out , lol
and again , attention was on ME .
i was sitting and keep singing and shouting , makes my friend say ' at this time , I'm more ashame to be one of your friend ' XD whatever
after mystery finished , en haris said that we have to balance genre of songs , they changed it to some songs that i don't know , AGAIN =.=

okay after some stupid songs finishes ,
HERE COMES SORRY SORRY !
THE BEST PART ! EVERYONE IS DANCING ! EVERYONE IS SHOUTING ! AND EVERYONE IS SINGING !
okay , me ? afrina and I stand up , stand by to dance . I DON'T EVEN REALISE EVERYONE ATTENTION WAS ON ME again =.=''
you know why ? i sat under a very centre tent , everyone can see me and good enough , infront of en haris seat =.=''
I don't care anymore , keeps on dancing and singing and chanting and shouting !
Tan's daughter join us , sok ching and her sister . HER SISTER WAS THE BEST !
OMG SHE'S SO HYPER ! okay nina , you too XD
I was chanting like the korean fans always do , FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN !
and the best part is , every angle of the tennis court filled with students dancing sorry sorry , lol
Then we have ring ding dong again and a little part of gee .
DAMN LA , I was ready to stand up and dancing to gee and it was PAP ! someone turn it off =.='' shits .

I was so happy until , someone told me that , en haris bash me and my friends .

' fanatik sngt dngn lagu korea sampai menari nari , tak malu ke ? buat malu orng
melayu je . pakai tudung pulak tu , hehh . '

I don't know how much percent in my heart respecting you because .. I've started to hate you . By that second , I've hating you . You just have TO be more respectful towards the fans . why cant you understand ? WE HAVE OUR ON FANDOMS ! so do you . Eventhough you hate the way we show our loves and supports , at least , don't say something like that . I WAS SO HURT !

and atleast , got one teacher who was INCREDIBLY SPORTING XD

' LAH KENAPE KORNG TK MENARI LAGI ?! SAYA CEPAT2 MKN NK TENGOK KORANG MENARI TAU ! CEPTLAH MENARIIIIIIIII ! '

Puan Gowry XD

Blue house won ! OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! I'm in red house but i feel MORE GRATEFUL if blue wins XD It feel like ELF has won . GO BLUE HOUSE ! Red house ? go die :P BLUE HOUSE MAKE SURE YOU WIN ! :))

END , am trying my best to reply your tag , and nana , MY YM ! I CANNOT SIGN IN , OH DAMN ITTT !

ps : Kpop fans ARE EVRYWHERE . but its hard to find a TRUE FAN . Korean drama fans are not considered as a kpop fan. and nahh , some people like kpop because they don't want themselves to be outdated WHICH SUCKS ALOT . shit them , F them .

Fcuk netizens who thinks kyuhyun's bday celebration was rude . YAH IDIOT ! ITS NOT RUDE ! ITS SWEET ! tell me when will you ever see this side of suju again , huh ? NO BRAINS PEOPLE ! grr i was so mad ! and HAHA ! my dear Ex ELF , GO DIE IN PEACE :)

Cho's Day

2010-02-03T17:12:00.005+08:00

Cho Kyuhyun ,
My best best best ' small ' brother .
although he's like .... 7 years OLDER than me , but nahh , he is still my baby brother .
Don't call me noona , call me your dongsaeng .
Don't protect me , Let me protect you :)
Its just once a year , let me say something .
Happy Birthday , my baby brother .
Be a baby , Be the baby Kyuhyun , Be the cutie baby Kyuhyun .
FOREVER , okay ? :D

Idiot kyu , I won't call you kyuhyun oppa , NEVER EVER !
You're way too young to be called as an oppa , let me call you , humm ..
baby ? oh wait , infant ?
XD
OKAY WHATEVER -_-

SSII

2010-01-24T19:50:00.002+08:00

Knowing everyone is so excited about super show ,
Knowing everyone is talking about super show ,
Knowing everyone knows about super show ,
Knowing everyone is going to super show ,
Knowing everyone is so happy about super show ,
Knowing non elf and antis are going to super show .

ITS KILLING ME INSIDE .

2 years of fangirl-ing feels like nothing now .
Feel so empty .

What am i going to do now ?

The best solution is ,
to cry my eyes out .

Thats hurting .

I don't want to hurt myself ,
either .

cry ..
with me ?

Thanks . You're the best .

School

2010-01-23T15:36:00.004+08:00

stop pouting lah =.=''

SCHOOL IS E.P.I.C !

cikgu : HA KHAIRINA ! awak yng bnyk bnyk ckp tu , buat soalan ni cepat !
nina : okayyy !
.........
cikgu : you got it right , how did you do that ?
nina : entah la , sye tengok dkt sini je , ade kakak tolong tuliskan hehehehe
cikgu : =.='' eh awak *pointtoafrina* nanti tolong sambungkan wayar yg putus dkt dlm kelapa dia eh ? dh putus agknye , kesian lo

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

nina : eh ape maksud holy ?
sharmila : holy ? holy means mcm .... suci , yeah something like that .
nina : mcm ?
sharmila : holy + day = HOLYDAY !
nina : HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

sharmila is so wtf XD

school ? you mean school ? can't describe it . sometimes it was just HELLA BORING and sometimes its fun . met eya everymorning . you should know how much important are you to me . Thanks for the hug . I appreaciate it alot . I feel like a real little sister when I'm with you . yes , you're so important to me . I have cassiopeia and shinee world beside me , I need ELF too . Met Nabila twice , heee :) been so crazy in the class , like so stupid . I did not feel the word exam in the class . MY CRAZY CLASS , lol . Slept twice in agama class , one really peaceful sleep in KH class , and everytime when theres no teacher , I'll take it as a sleeping lesson lol . so fun fun fun and funn ! wrote an essay about park jungsoo and get a well done from teacher . I'll write it later , don't have so much time. My grammmars improved and I'm so happy with it . Now its time for Karangan lol . i suck my karangan and now its payback time . overall school was OKAY . woots ~ ~~LIM XIAO MING~~ TOUCHES MY KOKO BOOK AND AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ! XD chim poh kuan is crazy , HOW DARE SHE CALL MY DONGHAE AS DONGKEY ?! damn her XD

I know you can go , I know its such a waste that i can't go . I knoww . You don't have to point it out . No need to remind me about super show . I know it . You're just not satisfied with me right ? you LAUGH at me , you BASH me , you say that i DESERVE what i have now , you say that you're HAPPY that I can't go . seriously , what kind of classmate are you ? I'm so not satisfied with you since we're standard 1 and i can't even believe we're at the same class almost 9 years . please.stop.disturbing.me . and one more thing , if i say that i don't like bof , YOU DON'T HAVE TO FORCE ME LIKING THEM . if i say that i don't like MEANS I DON'T LIKE . you can't even said SS501 PROPERLY then you said that you're a fan of them . so damn funny my friend . LAME PEOPLE . MyGod la , I'll pray hard to not be the same class as you next year . I hate you , so ? whats the problem ? you hate me and i hate you . doesn't mean you;re pretty and everyone HAVE TO like you . haha funny funny .and one more thing , you;re not even pretty and don't ya think everyone likes you , syok sendiri . I so have enough with you and don;t makes me fed up and yell staright to your face . you don't think i can't do it huh ? hah watch me then . small matter lah . Don't makes me do that please ? STOP TALKING TO ME .

This guy , was the second guy , who beats my heart so much after lee donghae . i love his voice , SO DAMN FREAKING SMOOTH AND SOOTHING , MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN !

ps : I still believe that i can meet suju , don't give up !
pps: flying to medan indonesia net week's tuesday with cousins ! woots ~
ppps: Even if I can not go to the concert , i just wish that someone could give me their merchandise , mann i want it so badly *cries*

up to the date

2010-01-17T09:42:00.005+08:00

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA ~ I just want to laugh laugh and laugh .

I'd love to feel it even if it just once in a life time ,
but , the main problem now is i can't go .
wouldn't it be so weird being a fangirl for them for 2 years but end up can't go to their concert ,
really , I always think that ,
AM I REALLY THEIR FAN ?

Its not that i don't wanna go , its not that i don't have any money to go , I can even buy the most expensive one ,
but my parents , they won't let me go ,
why am i such the most unlucky one out of thousands of ELF ,
I want to go , how many times i've mention this to everyone ?
I really want to go

and yeah , for those people who don't cherish sj like what the true elf do ,
you , better , don't go .
This concert is just for TRUE elf ,
yes , I'll have to hate you if you go ,
I bet you won't feel the true feelings of elf , I bet you won't feel how SJ loves ELF so much ,
because you were not their fans , YOU JUST LIKE THEIR MUSIC AND NOT THEM .
duhhh =.='' better give the tickets to me lah , you don't deserve it .
I'm not jealous , i just hate it .

Many many many many of my school mates said to me ,
' you said you were a fan of ________ group , but why were you not so update about them like what you do to SJ '
do i really have to say this huh ?
Fan = follow all what they do , update about their activities .
yes , you got it right .
I'm a FAN of SUPER JUNIOR only .
I don't like to share my love ,
because only SJ deserves my love , I don't like to cheat them .
I like all bands music but i only a fan of SJ .
Maybe some people will not agree with me but I've my own way of fangirling ,
I will only stick to one and only one .
Even if you give me 2PM , Shinee , FT Island , or even DBSK ,
I'll only choose SUPER JUNIOR ,
because like I said , I'm only a FAN of them .

about all this super show , I'd like to attend , but luck is not at my side ,
maybe next time ?
Nicole . we will go there together , sit together , shouting their names together , okay ?
Don't be sad , I'll be sadder if you were sad , lets be happy :)

BOF fans are EVERYWHERE ! HAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA ~
so funny how everyone come to me and said ' JIHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! '
' JUN PYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ' YI JUNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ! '
so wtf - ish , i feel like laughing , everyone is falling for lee minho .
so lol can ? after bof finished , 8TV will be airing heading to the ground then everyone will go at me and say
' JUNG YUNHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! '
and after that i can tell that 8TV will be airing You're bautiful too , HAHA .
then everyone will go all ' TAEKYUNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ! ' SHINWOOOOOOOO ! ' JEREMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ! '
wtf wtf , then bof will be forgotten , heading to the ground will be forgotten .
THATS HOW MALAYSIAN ARE , don't you all agree with me ?
They liked them BASED ON THEIR LOOKS , not on their talents . so funny man .
useless fans , I bet they'll freak out after knowing that jang geun suk shave his head before this , lol shave ? XD

I'd better get going , nerding business + too many homeworks + too many houseworks + take care of 10 hae's baby XDDDDDDDD
bye and see you next time ! :D

hae : nina , how about , we ... aish .. we .... make our 11th child ... ermmm....now ?

nina : YAH WTF LEE DONGHAE ! I'M SO ENOUGH WITH THIS ! DIVORCE ME NOWWWWW !

hae : NINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ~

*nina is running away from the perverted lee donghae *

10 childs : sweet parents of mine !

HEHEHHEHEHEHHEHHEEHEHEHEEHHEHEHHEHHEHEEHHE ~

edit :

To nana and nisa , who waited for me to on my yahoo messenger , I'm sorry , really . I don't know whats wrong with my ym . i did not expect for you to online . I don't want to disturb your beauty sleep . but i've never epected that you could wake up early only for me . I'm sorry , I'm really sorry . although its not my fault ( blame ym ), but i really feel somewhat guilty . with now no credit in my phone , I hope you notice this message . I am really really sorry .

God , i feel like crying now .

ps : i BELIEVE IN fate , I'll meet themo oneday , just keep believeing , HAHA ~
pps: you know that I'm pretending to be happy right ? :(
ppps: how i wish i can reply all your tags , so gahhhh ~

tweet !

2010-01-10T09:37:00.003+08:00

This is just a beginning of my pmr life's time .
yet its going to be more worse day by day .
get to online only once a month , i thought i can be so fucked up boring and stress in my room , on the bed .
so everyone at school , please makes me happy :)
i got no friend to spazz about kpop now ,
YAH NURAFRINA NAJLA ! GET your body BACK TO SCHOOL NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !
just freaking come back , one more week to wait , DO YOU THINK THAT I CAN WAIT HUH ?!
chicken pox is shits =.=''
I'll update about my first week at school or whatever because now , i have only 20 minutes to online .
itupun because hemawathy ask me to do something , thanks to her lah .
okay I'm off , wait for me next week , :)

ps : gee , i thought i can die in sadness yesterday :(
pps : everyone , please make me happy . XD

New year wish / FAREWELL :)

2010-01-02T13:38:00.005+08:00

Super Junior ,
They are ... the band that I liked the most ,
Even if I try to like any other band , I'll always end up liking super junior the most ,
You should have known how much special are them to me ,
very very very special .
Every members means a lot to me ,
I'm not lying . I'm telling the truth now that ... I'm crying when I wrote this .
I'm listening to Sorry Sorry Answer now and their voice makes me melt away .
In 2009 , In this one whole year ,
I've been through alot liking suju ,
Yes , a lot lot lot lot of obstacles ,
You don't have any idea how much I suffer in 2009 ,
Starts from January to December ,
I've been crying alot than usual .
I swear that I'll never forget how much I've suffer . Even if I die , I'll never forget 2009 .
I , too , fail many of my exams , because I was too nerdy about Suju . I update everything about them ,
Its on my mind . Just ask me whatever you don't know and I'll straight away answer it without any error .
* my mp4 keeps on playing Suju's songs . :( *
Liking , adore-ing , and fangirling about the thirteen guys was the best part of my life .
Even if there were a machine that can change me into other people , I will not do it .
Because when I change my body , then there'll be no suju in me anymore .
I want to be who I am now , until the world cover with sapphire blue balloons , I just want to be me .
Me who people called as an ELF for Suju . Me who people recognize as one of the million ELF . Me who always protect thirteen . Me who always fangirling about thirteen . Me who always adore them . And me who always support them endlessly .
I just want to be ME .
I'm telling you this because I'm scared that when I'm away from this fangirling about suju , my love towards them will faded away .
I know , I will not act that way , I know who I am .
But I'm scared .
I'm so scared that .... I might losing them .

Hearing endless moment makes me cry so much .

My sister always asked me ,

' You said that you're a fan of suju , real hardcore i must say . but why don't you listen to their

song ? Wheneve it suju's , you will change it into another song . are you really a fangirl huh ? '

I want to shout at her but .... I just can't .

You know why sister ? because whenever I hear their voice , I broke into tears .

I don't want people to see me as a weak person . I'm a bright girl . The brightest girl in my class , lol .

A lot of people seems to always see me as an ELF who loves Suju based on their looks , very lol .

For your information my dear ,

I've never look up an artist for their looks , okay maybe its not like i've never , sometimes i did day that donghae is hot or whatever but most most most of the times , i actually likes his voice , so soft :)

I love Super Junior because they're those 13 guys who named Park Jungsoo , Kim Heechul , Kim Jongwoon , Tan HanGeng , Park Youngwoon , Shin Donghee , Lee Sungmin , Lee Hyukjae , Lee Donghae , Choi Siwon , Kim Kibum , Kim Ryeowook and Cho Kyuhyun .

Those thirteen guys who always be them on and off stage , the natural them .

Those thirteen guys who never pretends to be any other else other than being themselves .

I just love for the way they are ,

I just love the REAL Super Junior ,

The super dorky Super Junior who always brights up my day ,

I fucking love them . :)

In 2009 too ,

I made so much friends , How can I ever forget about you people ?

Starts from abby , esha , eunhoon , the two hannas , Izzie , Izzah , Lisa Unnie , Nabila , Eya , Nabihah , Nazyrah , Nana , Nisa , Nicole , Zafirah , teyna unnie , SJ-world friends and unnies and whoever who always be there for me .

How can I ever forget you ELFs ? and other fanclub too .

You're all great , awesome , and so much more .

When i grow up , I really wanr ro meet all of you .

Lets go to the same university okay ?

I would not be an ELF without all of you !

I'll never forget you all , I swear .

Thanks to you who always be there when I'm all sad and depressed .

Thanks to you who always support me .

Thanks to ou who always brights up my day .

Thank You , Thank You so much .

and thanks to my classmates and schoolmates too ,

their IDIOTNESS makes me smile XDD

*sapphire blue is now playing . XD *

2009 , 2009 , 2009

a very bad year , bad luck for kpop band ,

Tell me which band did not get involved with this curse huh ?

But 2009 too gives me so much happiness ,

I change a lot in 2009 ,

Don't you all agree with me ? I really have change a lot .

I hope 2010 will be a good year for me . A good year for you too :)

be helathy in 2010 .

Always and always remember Teukie's line in Shining Star my dear ELF ,

' Eventhough I'm lacking , I'll protect you ' .

He promise that he'll protect us so don't be scared .

Face the world and tell the world that you're proud to be one of the Ever Lasting Friends .

I don't know if you're the same as me or what but when i heard shining star and happy together , It gives me strengh . ;)

In 2010 , there'll be alot of things I've to settle up .

There'll be alot of homeworks I've to finish up .

There'll be alot of notes I've to memorize .

even if Is tuffed all this things in my barins and heart ,

There'll still some space for Suju . of course :)

2010 , the year of revenge

2010 , the year of study .

2010 , the year of hell .

2010 , the year of struggling .

2010 , the year of everything related to study .

I really need straight As and I hope withh all my harship , I can achieve what i dreamt for .

Mom will be happy , Dad will be proud .

I just want to say happy happy happy new year and lets all have fun in 2010 !

no more sadness okay ?

( but erghh , shinhwa minwoo involved in an accident , bad news :( )

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAPPY ~~belated~~ BIRTHDAY LEE SUNGMIN !

you pink maniac ! i love you , get it ?
eventhough people hates you because of the word ' pink maniac ' , but who cares ?
I LOVE YOU AND STAY HEALTHY AND CHUBBY ! :D
my lucky 1 january guy XD

HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY PARK YOUNGWOON !

you , just remember that , I love you
I'll always stand by you no matter what happens AND !
im sorry if i wish you too early because i can't online on 17th january , grr
okay whatever , I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS LOVE YOU :D

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yahh lee donghae's fans ! SPOT SOMETHING CUTE ?! XD

just let me say something kyu's fans , he's cute , really cute , and fragile too . please take care of him because , I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM SAD , gahhh magnae~

okay now lol , what am i going to say eh ?
This is probably going to be my last post for january , really .
Gahh ~ I'm going to miss ALL OF YOU !
pabo me, I don't have your handphone number , waaaaa sadded .
Yeah now , I'm searching for a very suitable name for donghae , only me can call him by that name , HEHEHEHE .
I'm claiming him as mine , so what ? XD So yeah , better off now , my mum is going to blow me up . pray for my success , and BE HEALTHY ! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF DONGHAE FOR ME ! can or not ? XDD For PMR victims , HAHHAHAHAHAHHA . you and me , going through hell tomorrow . lets laugh all we can today . HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA ! now i think im going crazy lols . and oh wait ! Im writing a new fic in a book , yeah writing tau . several oneshots too . I'll write it here after PMR ends :) please make PMR go away faster . aishh . so yeah ,

GOODBYEEE EVERYONEE !

2009-12-28T09:46:00.001+08:00

This is so f*king crazy
YAH LAPTOP , WHY THE HELL YOU'RE ACTING LIKE SHIT ?!
YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

ps: I'm using my mom's laptop , gahhh , laptop comeback . my dearest lappy :(
pray fr my laptop to comeback . only for this three days . pleaseee ?

Smile Again

2009-12-25T12:57:00.008+08:00

Seriously , call me stupid .
When I'm in shock mod , I turns into a stupid person .
I know the word ' temporarily ' but I still want to google translated it ,
And yes , Suju M is temporarily disband . see the temporarily word ? and see the disband word ?
I'm glad there's ' temporaily ' before ' disband ' , because if its only the word ' disband ' , i think i'm going to regret every second i live ,
I regret that I didn't know suju m as much as other elfs are ,
and I regret that I only spent my times about suju , I did not even care about suju m .
its not that i did not , I care about suju m , but i care about suju more , make sense ?
I'm a bad elf , call me bad elf . I'm bad . I'm bad because i don't know about suju m while they're too apart of suju . I regret it .
I AM A BAD ELF FOR SUJU AND I DON'T DESERVE THE WORD ' ELF ' , i think so . because i abandoned suju m . Yes , and know something ? I don't even know when is henry's and zhoumi's birthday . Wei , I'm bad . I regret it so much .

Do I still deserve those compliments after knowing that i'm not as awesome as you think i am ? I'm sorry .

ilytoo ;)

Well , I read hanna's blog . When hanna wrote the confusion's entry , I think I should write one too .
She said ' if i have to make a choice.
a choice between the two people that i love.
who should i choose? '

For me , If i really have a choice to choose either of them . I will not chooce either both of them . Because when i choose hankyung , then kyuhyun will be hurt . and when i choose kyuhyun , hankyung will be hurt . I don't want them to be sad .I'd rather let myself cry because i didn't get to choose one of them . Kyuhyun and Hankyung , this two person are really really important to me . Who will cook the most famous and delicious beijing friend rice if i don't have my hankyung ? and who will ever teach me to play dota if i don't have my kyuhyun ? see that , they're so much important to me until I can't even choose any of them .

The smile of magnae . I really miss this alot .

I saw their fake smile at music bank yesterday . i know , they're giving their best smile on the stage but still , a fangirl's heart still know their idols feelings . Kyuhyun , you failed to give me your best smile because .. i know you magnae , i freaking damn well know you . Its not your smile magnae , Its fake . They become alot more skinnier these days . Yes , the looks so damn skinny . especially leader . Can I say , shindong too ? oh well . This is so pathetic . But yeah , Suju , I'll wait for you to smile sincerely again . Like what cassiopeia did towards DBSK . Elfs will wait for it . We just want you to SINCERELY smile again . Say Kimchi ! :)

asjbksdnfriuokjdcfmbfacewiuokdjjbhghcsjaxwlkdmohhbfjdkslmishdj CUTEEEEEEEE ! grr

yeah , seeing people getting 8As , I really really envy them . next year , I'm going to study my head's off . I really am . I'll not online , yes , this year is my last chance . When the date shows 1.01.10 ( min's bday ) , I'll officially become a nerdy kid . I'll miss ALL OF YOU so much .I'll blog like .... once a month ? Nahh nana , blog for me , can ? XD I'll superbly miss my donghae . I'll write a post about suju before i end my online-ing's life , lol . I sounded really pathetic . Yes I am . you know ~ I badly want the 8As . I want PMR to end faster . So that I can rest as much as I want ( sister : eh kak , 2009 pun tk abes lagi , PMR lambtt lagi ) =.='' AND YEAH PEOPLE ! XD after PMR I want to go shopping ! I'll buy as mush as I want . I don't care anymore . Since my mom has allow me to buy online , I guess I'll buy all online then . THE THINGS ARE SOO hella EXPENSIVE ! grrr . I want to buy more bags lol ( afrina : sudah sudah la weh , berlambak beg kau nk buat ape ? nina : tak tahuuu ) XDDDDDD Oh wait , athirah ... damn .... SHE BOUGHT A NEW ITOUCH YESTERDAY ! damnit . I was shouting like a mad girl at the message she gave me XD I want an itouch too . =.='' She'll be going to Bangkok next wedenesday . Laaa , i wanna go there too . I'M STUCK AT HOME ! gahh . The most boring-est holiday i have. People , let 26 January comes faster can ? I can't wait for it lols . This is so killing me in and out =.=''

I miss full house days :( see hanchul . so dork =.=''

So yeah , yesterday had a short conference with yasmin and izreen . Damn funny XD They're questioning me about kpop and guess what ? I WON THE QUIZ XD

izreen : weh aku give up dah nk tanya kau lagi , THE END WEH !

Like I said , I'm a genius . :P Any last word izreen ?

izreen : tak de pape dah , SPEECHLESS .

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD . I love you lah weh ! XD she's so dorky and she makes me laugh my ass off . I was really really damn sad about suju then suddenly she's cheering me up and start saying nonsense about blalablabla . She starts to crap about something something too . lol XD Thank you do . Eyra , yeahh , she's like ... the type of friend that i've ever wanted for . I'm not lying when i said that she really know well about me . She know about me in and out . Too bad , she's not even in my class . Too bad . We're like ... you know , we can start to crap about anything . Just give us any topic , we'll start to crap like hell XD and yeah , i called her my twin at school since she really have the same mind and the same thinking like me . EXACTLY LIKE MINE XD Why am I talking about my friend ? well probably , I want the schoold start now , suddenly je XD I usually hate school days but now , I think that I've to go to school . I've to clear up my minds . I've been sad-ing about suju and dbsk , now its time for me to study . Suju is so important for me but now , Studies are more important . Sighh . I'll be using my only chance to online as i much as i want , because next year , there'll be no more for me . I can just say Hi to the computers and laptops in my house then go study . Pathetic =.=''

Congrats to all who gets 8A , and sape sape yg tk dpt 8A , YOU'RE STILL A GENIUS ! don't worry ^^ I'm so proud of you all :) Esha , Eya , Nisa , Nabila , Nana , Nicole . CONGRATULATIONS ! :) next year , my turn =.='' nazyrah , we'll die XDDDD

Kay , Off , Bye .

eh wait ! to whoever who wants my phone's number , email me at ninateenagers@gmail.com
I don't want to lose contact with you people , and yeah , please keep me update XD bye :)

and one more thing , somebody know where can I buy korean stuffs other than mykpopdestiny , ebay and miss suppin ? thank you in advance .

and one moree , leader eeteuk right , his full name is park leeteuk right ? no , not his real name , his full stage name , park leeteuk kan ?

Stay united

2009-12-22T08:23:00.010+08:00

I keep on refreshing soompi ,
I keep on praying nonstop ,
I keep on saying that the rumours are not true .
Just to let myself know that all are this are just rumours .

Can anyone help me ?
Can you please help me ?
Help me , comfort me .
I lost the most important thing in my life .

No , i didn't lost them ,
No , this is isnt true ,
No its not !
but the news are scaring the hell out of me .

This year is not a good year ,
we start with happiness and end with sadness .

Hangeng fans will be always geng's fans . No matter who he is , no matter how bad he is , no matter how scary he is . He is still the Hangeng that we know , he's still the hangeng that we love . Don't hate him because he's out of suju . Please support him endlessly .

Donghae , eunhyuk , kangin , eeteuk and yesung too have been said join geng to terminate his contract with sm . Whats happening now ? Im so confused . Kyu left message at his cyworld WRITTEN IN ENGLISH . The magnae is suffering . KYUHYUN IS NOT A BETRAYER YOU BITCH ! NO ONE IS A BETRAYER HERE ! HOW COME YOU SAID THEY'RE A BETRAYER ! DONT YOU DARE TO CALL YOURSELF A FAN IF YOU'RE SAYING SUJU'S BABY IS A BETRAYER ! GOSH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING ?!

I believe in Super Junior . I dont care if they're at the fault , i still believe them . I believe in 13 members . To everyone who doubt suju , please think carefully . Youve the right to believe anyone but you've said that you're an ELF , dont you know what ELF's job ? do you ever know ?
ELF stand by suju , ELF support them endlessly , ELF DONT DOUBT THEM , ELF , ELF believe themgive them supports and the most important thing is , ELF don't love suju because they're hot or cute or whatever , ELF LOVE THEM FOR THE WAY THEY ARE . NO MATTER HOW BAD SUJU IS , NO MATTER HOW UGLY SUJU IS , NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN , ELF are always there for them .

If you say something like this : I love Suju but those cases makes me feel doubtful towards them .
Its just something like : I love my family but i don't believe them .
PFFT

and one more ! SUPER JUNIOR DOES NOT ENDS WITH KYUHYUN ! ohmygod , how many times have magnae and leader told you ? SUPER JUNIOR STARTS WITH EETEUK AND ENDS WITH ELF ! leader did not said that suju ends with kyuhyun . They choose ELF to be the next 14 member . ONLY ELF DESERVE THAT PLACE AND NO ONE ELSE !

ELF , now , lets keep praying , for this to become only rumours . We cant just cry . Cry doesn't help anything . Lets pray hard . Stay united ! this is the times when ELF has to stay united ! Don't you ever dare to leave them , don't you ever dare to hate them , don't you ever dare TO DOUBT THEM ! I beg you .

We start 2009 with ' 13eyond your imagination '
Lets end 2009 with ' 13elieve ' .

ps : I changed my music bakcground to happy together and i end up crying , pfft .

;ninadonghae

Super Junior is forever 13 ,

2009-12-21T17:40:00.003+08:00

Han Geng ,

I THOUGHT YOU DID PROMISE US THAT WE'RE TOGETHER !
HANKYUNG-AH , DONT FREAKING LEAVE ME LIKE THIS !
DON'T KID ME ! TELL ME THAT ITS A RUMOUR ! HANKYUNG DID YOU HEAR ME ?
IM KILLING MYSELF NOW BECAUSE I CANT FUCKING THINK STRAIGHT !
I ACCIDENTALLY CUT MY HAND AND THATS FREAKING PAIN !

WE'RE TOGETHER ! REMEMBER ?
THE 13 OF YOU ! HOW CAN WE LIVE LIKE THIS ?!

HANKYUNG PLEASE TELL ME ITS A RUMOUR . PLEASE .

Yunjae ,

2009-12-18T23:59:00.003+08:00

Warning : They're not gay , thanks .

*inhale exhale inhale exhale*
Now
SPAZZ !

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ! THIS IS WHAT PHOTOSHOPS ARE MADE FOR ! OMG SEE THAT ?! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT ?! YUNJAE IS FREAKING KISSING EACH OTHER ! YUNHO AND JAEJOONG , I MEAN ! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT PEOPLE ?! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD ! NOW I CAN IMAGINE MYSELF THEY'RE KISSING ! AND WOOSH ! THE PICTURE IS SO PERFECT ! PERFECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ! THIS IS WHAT A FANGIRL WANT ACTUALLY ! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD ! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ! SCREAM WITH ME NOW ! LETS SCREAM WITH NOW ! I'M SOO IN A GOOD MOOD ! A VERYY GOOD MOOD ! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD ! THIS IS REALLY THE BEST KISSING PISTURE ON EARTH ! agree ? no ? XD

okay , stop with that now . lets clarify this matter with you people .

First !
They're NOT GAY ( although i'll be glad that if they're gay to each other )

Second !
This is a photoshop picture , obvioulsy ( BUT I THINK THEY'RE NOT PHOTOSHOPPED ! LOL XD )

Third !
This is just a yunhojaejoong fangirl who thinks that they're gay ( LIKE ME ! )

Fourth !
Please don't hate DBSK because of this , love them even more okay ? Always Keep The Faith ( can't you all just believe that yunjae are meant for each other ? *biasbiasbiasbias* )

Fifth !
Again i said , officially , YUNHO AND JAEJOONG LOVE GIRLS , THEY'RE STRAIGHT LIKE A RULER . ( i still believe that they're gay though XD )

Okay ? LOL seriously Jung Yunho , I know you love Kim Jaejoong . No need to hide anymore , HAH ! XD You're busted already XD

Fangirl Story ,

2009-12-18T13:44:00.003+08:00

Super Junior , CONGRATULATIONS !

yeah , you makes me cry again , AGAIN !
I love the fact that its you who makes me cry .
I hope that all 13 of you can receive the awards , all 13 of you can hug together , gahhh .
I only saw leader , heechul , yesung , siwon , hankyung , donghae , eunhyuk , shindong , sungmin , ryeowook and magnae , where are the other 2 ?
Yes , Kangin and Kibum , where are you ? huwaaa .

"We ourselves also know the fact that our weakness is although we're famous, we
didnt have any representative song. But this year "Sorry sorry" has become our
hit song, after receiving the daesang award at Golden disk, it seems that all
our complex have gone away. When we were young and dreamed to be singer, our
dreaming stage is always here at Golden disk, now we got the best place in this
stage/place, we couldnt believe it

No ! OMG HECK NO ! You've U , Don't Don and Marry U . Yah ! YOU'RE POPULAR ! but yeah , i admit that sorry sorry was the one who have alot of popularity . I'm glad you won ! I'm so proudddddd of you . I'm so DAMN PROUD ! Korean ELF , you're doing a great job ! The most things that i'm proud with is , when people ask me ' are you a fan of korean boyband ? ' and i will answer ' YES ! I'M AN ELF ! ' . I'm proud of you guys , seriously .

"This year although we're very happy with but at the same
time there are many bad incidents. Just before this, I had a phone call with
Kangin. He was about to cry and said 'I miss you', and after the call ended, I
got a text from him said 'Hyung, I'm sorry'. Although he himself had done
something wrong but I still feel sad that I cant share the happiness with the
member who had shared the hardship with me since we were young. Kangin really
wanted to stand on this stage. From now on he wont be self-satisfied and be
responsible with his life to deserve the love from all the fans"

Yeah Boys , lets get back our youngwoon bear RIGHT NOW ! *wait for awhile , tears over floading* I, too , wish that kangin can perform with you and receive the awards together . He deserve the happiness too ! I know what Kangin did was really irresponsible but I know he also regrets it and it's heartbreaking that Teukie is finally talking about Kangin but I'm feeling really upset because Teukie misses him and Kangin misses him and the rest of his brothers. I hope it will be a BIG SUCCESS in 2010 ! just remember that ELF are there for you . and you LEADER TEUKIE ! I SAW YOUR DIMPLE ! I SAW YOUR DIMPLE ! I FREAKING SAW YOUR DIMPLE ! why am i excited ? because i loveeee it when you're happy . I loveee it when you're not the emo teukie . PLEASE BE HAPPY ! okay ?

SUJU WIN ONLY 1 AWARD ?! OMG HELLO ! SUJU IS THE ARTIST OF THE YEAR! People yahhh ! HOW COME ONLY ONE ?! FREAKING ONEEEEEEE ?! truly dissapointed ! Melon didn't like suju . And they just HAVE TO give suju the award because suju are there . Shit Melon . SHIT !

Picture time now XD

Super Show

Eunhyuk love Donghae .

YAH ! YAHHH ! donghae only loves ME ! hyukjae was like ' uhh what .. is .. this ? *after read it* ohhh ' LOL IDIOT XD

Super Show Nanjing WAS EPIC ! SEE HANCHUL ! ( although heechul said that it suppose to be heekyung ) BUT HEECHUL ! I DON'T CARE ! how come a beauty like you can be the man ? dumbo kim heechul XD see the picture ? They're getting married and heechul has the thingy-on-his-head which suppose to be the bride who usually wear this XD hanchul is lovee . They just somewhat looks like a real couple . Hankyung is the china prince and heechul is the china princess XD EVEN HEECHUL HAS AGREED ABOUT THIS XDD

Golden Disk Award

EUNHAE ! hyukjae was crying ENDLESSLY and he's lucky that donghae was there to calm him down . Eunhae CRIED ! of course idiot . you usually will see this scene in a couple situation . when one of them cried , the partner will cry too . Isn't it too obvious that they're a couple ? and hyukjae makes me so mad when he said that IU is the most beautiful woman on earth . HAHA ! i wanna laugh my ass off . seriously LEE HYUKJAE . you will not get to marry IU because she's freaking YOUNG and yeah , she didn't said that she like you too . Idiot IU , i know . A jealous fangirl , of course XD
ps : from my point of view , i have to say that donghae's butt WAS HOT XD perverted fans .

I lovee this picture ! but its not PERFECT . Its not perfect at all . Two person is missing . They looked so happy but it will be more happier when the two members are there . Saw leader's dimple ? XD

Stop looking at it leader ! It was all ours ! Teukie was like ' did i really get this ? am i dreaming ? ' LOL LEADER ! want me to slap your butt and told you that was REAL ? XD why butt now and not face anymore ? XD

you don't have any idea HOW MUCH I MISS KYUMIN ! OMG KYUMIN ! It'll be enough to see them JUST TALKING LOL XD

Kim Kibum

I SAW KIBUM ! I SAW KIM KIBUM ! I SAW SUPER JUNIOR KIM KIBUM ! I SAW HIM ! I SAW HIM ! I SAW HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ! yup , am so happy . FINALLY HE'S SMILING ! LIKE , FINALLY ! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I'VE WAITED FOR THIS ! HE FREAKING SMILE AT ME ! OMG I DIED ! his charming smile , HOW CAN YOU NOT FALL FOR HIM ?! I MISS HIMMMMMMM ! I'M GLAD THAT HE COMEBACK ! and you know something ? I THOUGHT HE WAS THE HOTTEST GHOST ON EARTH ! better than the vampire ( you-know-who) vampire and ghost ? are they the same ? no ? XD . PLEASE ! GOD ! WHY AM I TYPING ALL IN CAPS LOCK ?! BECAUSE I'M WAYY TOOOO EXCITED ALREADY ! and maybe kibum XD i'll watch your ghost movie FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life at youtube XD EVERYTHING FOR KIBUM OKAY ! XDDD

That's all for now , i want to talk about A'st1 but i think this post was way too long already . I'll write about them later ~ Bye !

ps : haha , some people thinks that i'm so old fashion becuase i don't know twilight . lol so what ? I better waste THE FREAKING RM20 for suju . HAHA ! and wtf new moon is ? and yeah , i'm sorry if i hurt someone's feelings but yeah , Shindong IS MORE HANDSOME than the vampire . oh what's his name ? LOL I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME IS AND I'M SO PROUD OF IT ! I'M PROUD THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TWILIGHT REALLY IS ! yup , i'm an idiot because i'm too addicted with korean . I'm proud that i don't know twilight XD Kau ingt aku kish ke twilight nih ape ? HAHA ! aku tk hadap lah weh twilight ngan new moon tuh . tk yah la sampai nk ckp aku katak bwh tempurung en . twilight ngan new moon ? oh pleasee , sbb kau aku jadi benci dkt twilight HAHA ! congrates weh , congrats. and yeah , aku tk suruh pun kau suka korean , ska hati aku lah nk suka sape sape and nk nak benci sape sape pun dlm dunia neh . mcm kau mampus pulak en ? bangang dodol . kau tk lyk nk tentukan spe yg mesti aku mint dan spe yg mesti aku tk mint . I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING PUPPET ! IDIOT !

Now , from the very beginning i love kpop until now , I've to suffer something like this . CAN'T YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE ?! I'M HUMAN TOO ! AND I DO HAVE MY OWN LIFE ! CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ! HOW MANY TIME I'VE TO SAY THIS ! LEAVE ME ALONE ! ughh i hate you .

LEAVE ME ALONE .

2009-12-17T23:57:00.002+08:00

save for jaejin ! i'm so busy with birthday wishes , cries . anyway congrats suju for the wininng . WE DESERVE IT ANYWAY HAHA ! and melon sucks i tell you . just sucks all the way . suju is THE artist of the year . YEAR I MEAN , YEAR ! and i don't wanna believe that they only won one . ATLEAST THREE ! sheshh , go to hell MELON ! still , one is good enough better than nothing . but i still want to say that THEY DESERVE IT MORE . YES , THEY DESERVE IT MOREE . melon is so not fair . MELON BOO !

SHI AH Day !

2009-12-15T01:09:00.002+08:00

yoochun owns him , get it ?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM JUNSU AND KIM JUNHO !
*hugs all the way*

Now , tell me people , who can ever have cute voice like he do ? Gosh , I wish to give him a big big hug now . He’s so cutee ! and of course i know why yoochun always love his duck butt here . My Jaejoong’s soulmate . No , he’s like , the other half of jaejoong . Of course my yunho is jaejoong’s lover but junsu is his soulmate . His friend that always be there for him . Not like yunho who’s with stupid SM * smack yunho’s head * *rolls eyes at yunho * just kidding XD. Stop talking about that because the main focus is junsu here XD Okay Kim Junsu . Well , He’s cute , NOT HOT AT ALL . Just a cutie pie person who has a duck butt . Duck butt means small butt or big butt ? I don’t know XD So yeah , His voice is just plain AWESOME ! His dance too . I don’t know why but junsu has a move that Cassiopeia will immediately say ‘ oh i know ! its junsu ‘. I don’t know how to explain that move but yeah , junsu is special ! He has twins too ! okay imagine two hot guys at one time ? XD I mean , his brother was just like him . I didn’t know at first that he has twin but when i watched introducing star friend , he brought his brother ! I was totally like o_O ?! XD Their face are the same ( of course ! dumbo ) , their height lol XD not the same because junho is slightly more taller than junsu XD .So yeah , at this time , i just want you to stay healthy , be with jaechun , don’t do stupid things , love your life , keep in your mind that cassioepia love you and do things that you think it is right . Like , marrying yoochun ? XD I know i’m crazy .

Yah ! i take back my words ! HE'S INDEED VERYY HOT ! and i saw something XD pervert fans .

look at junsu ! His expression was like ' damn chunnie ! YOU GOT A HOT LIPS ! ' XD just kiss him already su , like we care :P

Happy Birthday Again the kim brothers !
*smack yoochun* yah ! take care of my su ! okay ?
*yoochun nods*

:P

2009-12-14T23:44:00.001+08:00

save spot for my tofu . MY TOFU XD

Nisa Day

2009-12-13T19:15:00.002+08:00

WOOTS PEOPLE ! XD

Happy birthday to YOU !
Happy birthday to YOU !
Happy Birthday to ANISA !
Happy brithday to YOU !

Yay ! My adorable anisa is finally reach her actual age XD 15 YEAR YOUNG ! after this nisa , we're no longer same-age-friend. you'll be my senior ! XD *bow* Okayy , so what did you wish for your birthday ? siwon ? HAHA ! XDD

Umm , ape lagi . *cryuntilmyroomfloaded* I didn't have much money to give your birthday present , aish stupid me T_T I only have RM 2.00 in my purse and blame the bags for being TOO ATTRACTIVE ! yahh bag T_T I'm sorry ! Huwaaa

Anisa Safwa :
- my dorky girlfriend
- BEAUTIFUL VOICE !
- Skinny .
- Tall (?) XD
- Siwon biased , she , too , love siwon's abs ! yeahh pervert XD
- Photographer wannabe , woots , I love all her picture that she take so far . so-like-photographer
- born on the 13th december . see the 13 ? I'm so jealous . yes i AM ! XD imagine 13.12.2011 ? XDD
- funny , dorky , what's more ?
- oh right , nisa and me , will take our PMR exam before our birthday , its mean , we're taking our PMR in our 14 ! XD how smart ? XD
- oh my supergirl ~ :P
- her entry can makes me laugh sometime . lol
- She is so R.A.N.D.O.M !
- Anisa Safwa , I LOVE YOU ! :) XD

I soo want to reply ALL YOUR TAGS ! huwaa , but yeah , my mother is going to use her laptop at 12 AND AND books going to accompany me AGAIN tonight T_T . I'm still alive people , no worries about that XD am going to off now . byeeee :D Happy birthday JINKI ! JINKI JINKI ! XD

2009-12-09T20:01:00.002+08:00

spot for minho :)

What a girl wants

2009-12-08T13:47:00.007+08:00

Hello ! okay sighh . I wish to write a cheerful entry but i FAILED XD So yeah , I'm all okay now . Being a fangirl is the HARDEST THINGS ! yeah i know :P

ps: I swear the title takde kaitan dngn entry post XD

Woots people , my mom gave me permission to buy online BUT then , i must use MY own money to buy those things . alah , macam tak biasa pulak . but yeah , i'm happy . This is not my first time buying online . The first time i bought online was last year and i'm so not expected that i bought something from singapore ! LOL

So now , lets move on . Wuuuuu , me and nana , FOUND EUNHAE KID VERSION ! omg seriously ! I love aril & azzam so so so much ! and whoever watching idola kecil ? childish i know BUT BUT ! YOU CAN SEE EUNHAE KID VERSION THERE ! SO CUTEEEE ! xD

so yeah , there we go , eunhae kid version . The kid with the peace is donghae , and the very cute boy next to him is eunhyuk. right nana ? and yeah , i love azzam ! I can swear azzam has the most beautiful smile and voice , he can sing damn well . I fall for azzam seriously T_T for Aril , he's just like the way eunhyuk is . so playful and a cutie pie ! *pinch his cheeks*

So there we go , OUR LOVELY EUNHAE . YAH LEE DONGHAE ! STOP BITTING YOUR MOUTH ! It makes me wanna kiss you so badly , idiot T_T

Eunhae kid version is soo lovely . I watched the latest episode where sam was eliminated . People are crying like a mad person whereas they're like ' ape nangis2 ni ? ' LOL but at the end , azzam cried because sam is leaving . He's crying like ' JANGAN SAMM ! ' so cute and heartbreaking . as usual , aril was beside him at that time to comfort him . JUST LIKE EUNHAE ! xD azzam is cryyingg and everyone who's watching the idola kecil , DID YOU SAW ARIL WIPES HIS TEARS ?! OMG ! lol xD then azzam wipes sam's tears . seriously lah people , they don't have to be this cruel to separate them up . don't you guys have a heart watching them cry ? ughh . I love azzam and aril ! AND YEAH HUMANS ! azzam went sleepover at aril's house during hari raya haji . Isn't it too advance already 'azril' ? xDDD

So yeah , there's some picture of azril moments ,

Don't you love how azzam is sitting like a girl beside aril ? LMAO . AZRIL FTW !

woots ~ hear azzam sang pelangi petag . he makes me cry you know . aishhh that boy

Yeah nowww , lets move on ! Suju will release their super show 2nd album this *count* THURSDAY ! see , my money's going to fly away out again . Bye bye money , see you next year XD my goal next year is i want to save money rm50 per month , but nahh , rm20 will have to donate to my bank lah . so i've only rm30 . sighh . how am i going to buy a friggin ipod next year if it's like that ? *sighh . but nevermind , I'll try to think about another way to save my money . and yeah , I'll tell my hand and heart not being too stupid to buy all things especially bags when i'm out shopping. I can't take my eyes off bags seriously Y_Y until now , i've *count* 13 bags , two of them i still don't use it . I want to buy this bag nana's bag . I'll post the picture once i've found her bag's picture xD but yeah , her bag will cost me RM 69 . sighhh .

oh rightt , now i just realised that kyu IS skinny . He has FAT CHEEKS like me . *cry* how can i not love this cutie magnae lah people ?

I loveeeeeeeee his stare ! STARE AT ME LIKE THAT TEUKIE ! IMMA EAT YOU AFTER THIS ! Y_Y

' Popo Me , Lee Hyukjae '
So adorable can ?! If you watch the video , you can see how donghae show hyuk that banner and yeah people , hyuk KISS donghae's the-thing-on-his-head 's LIPS ! XD and donghae being too annoying again messing up with hyukjae and that makes hyukjae want to bite him but nahh , donghae manage to runnn away XD so cutee ~

I WATCHED MIRACLE'S SUPER SHOW THAILAND VIDEO WHEN SIWON KISS HANKYUNG'S CHEEK ! OMG ! imagine me , at 2 am in the morning , screaming with no voice XD that is seriously EPIC ! and yeah , you can hear magnae kyu sings kibum's part in miracle . SO LMAO ! i tell you , i love my boys so much ! :P

My father is supposed to go with us to Nanjing this thursday but yeah , Its cancel T_T The mainn reason is , my grandmother is sick . So yeah , we've to take a look at her . Its first like this , The reason my father cancel the trip because he had a meeting on that date , but tengok tengok , meeting cancel . Okay lah ckan ? Last week , my grandmother disahkan ada i-don't-know-what-desease . I was like O.O . How am i gonna go there ? And the decision is now , my father will postpone it to another date which is maybe next year . sighh . If my grandmother didn't sick then I can go and probably meet suju lol xD Suju will held their concert at nanjing on the 11 dec . And they probably arrive at the airport on the 9 or 10 . The date i supposed to go is 10 . So maybe , I can meet them in person . Wouldn't it be soo nice if i met them in person , in the friggin airport ? Sighh but yeah ! my father will have the chance . LOL XD . So yeah , no trip for december . Will have to wait for january for medan trip . I am sooo anticipating to go there with my cousin ! I've friends YAY !

Now , its time for to log off PFFT . i've tuition homeworks and its friggin 10 pages . damn good teacher i knoww . oh right ! before i forget , i bought a YG's magazine and epop malay version magazine . AND HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA ! YG's poster and epop's poster are the same can ? That means , the poster is FT Island , yup ! I've two FTI's poster with the same picture , cuma bezanya besar and kecil jeh XDD . LOL me :P I'll post the picture if i've times , SO NOW ! BYE BYE ! :)

Life Is Hard

2009-12-06T10:55:00.010+08:00

ELF:getting worship, and having to face oppa… what did you get?
Heechul: my mum’s nagging, getting angry, electricity bills, dropping of results, but forever ELF

This IS really the things that i get from being an ELF , heechul know me very very very well .

"Super Junior is my biggest pride."- Leeteuk

teukie , me too :(

How I wish , that , you all know what am i going through now .
How I wish that you all can see how pain i am now ,
How I wish that someone can hugg me now .
I need a bigg hug to comfort me , someone ?
My eyes are swollen , my heart hurts so much , my stomach pain like hell .
So yeah , i guess , this is just a perfect time for me , to stop being a fangirl .
me being a fangirl , hurt everyone's heart , hurt eveyone's feelings , and my mother said i'm becoming a horrible person after i'm a fangirl .
I've to stop for now , I don't want to hurt any one's feelings anymore , i want to be a good girl .
i want to make something that can makes my mom proud of me .
I want to change , but leaving suju is not the right thing , i know .
I , now , am trying to decrease my overload fangirl-ish .
I hurt everyone's feelings .
and yeah , i've create so much problems in this one year being a fangirl ,
I can't endure it now , 2009 is really a bad year for me .

Mom , I didn't mean to hurt you and i didn't have any intention to make you hurt . I don't want you to hate me . I don't want you to ignore me . Please talk to me . I'm so sorry about this morning incident . I'm so sorry :(

Super Junior is worth than a living i must say , but hurting my mother's feeling is killing me inside . I choose to die immediately if i saw my mother's hurting because of me . Super Junior makes my life complete but at the same time i'm hurting others feeling . And more worst , the other that i mean did not understand the ' fangirl ' word . How i wish suju know how much i've to suffer because of them . That's it , now i realise that love between idol and fans are the most saddest love story .

ps: I'll reply your tags after i can calm my self . tata for now .
pps ; I don't want people to know my problem but i need to write . sometimes writing makes me calm .
ppps : I miss the smile of donghae . be healthy .
pppps: I sounded like i am dying , i seriously am dying now .
pppppps: I don't want to stop loving them , but people around me makes me sick and they're practically saying to me to stop . you know who you are .

New Layout

2009-12-04T18:06:00.004+08:00

OHMYGODD !!!! Baby hae ! xD

I'll update again tonight , don't worry :)
How's my new layout ? I'm so effin in love with it because it has bigg space lol xD
gotta off now before mom scream into my ears :P
TAG TAG TAG ! HAHA !

To : http://syerawr.blogspot.com

I'm sorry if i hurt you in any ways . Me being an elf , its a job for me to protect my 13 angels . They're not a thing that you can easily hate them or love them . They're human for God's sake . I know , EVERYONE deserve to say anything , but i'm hurt when you said you love 2PM and leave suju . A fan , doesn't act like this . A fan , being together with her/his idol forever . A fan , the love of a fan cannot change eventhough there's many band debut . I'm not saying you're not a fan , you ARE a fan but you're not the fan that i said . I feel pity if a band have a fan like you , i'm not bashing you nor hate you . I don't know why you doesn't like suju anymore . I'm not forcing you to like them back , i just want to know why . Suju isn't gay , let me clarify everything about this . If you think suju is a gay boyband , then you're wrong . It just a fangirl's fantasy . I don't know whats your main reason about not liking suju . Please tell me why then i'll make things clear . Don't hate Suju please . They're humans too and human do wrong . last but not least , don't leave 2PM like you leave Suju . I feel sorry for 2PM if you leave them . Stick to a band . :)

Tapi pelikla. Apehal eh ramai benar minat dekat Super Junior
tu?Dulu aku minat jugak dekat Super Junior. Tapi dekat Siwon dgan Hae Chul
je.Sekarang dh tak minat lagi dah. Sekarang dah beralih dkat 2PM and Beast,
Hahaaa.Habis la aku lepas ni, kene down betol-betol dengan fans Suju ni. Haha,
sorry weh. Suju terhebat, Haha.

A'st1 in memory

2009-11-30T14:22:00.002+08:00

Up from Left : Inkyu , Jungjin , Jangmoon
Down from left : Hanbyul , Tomo , Haiming

I miss his smile so much :( Jangmoon-ah .

Who said they didn't have fans ?
Who said no one buy their albums ?
Who said they're not famous enough ?
Who said they're not talented ?
Who said they don't have powerful voices ?
Who said they can't dance ?
Who said they deserve it to be like this ?

They've me as their fans , They have me who've always wanted to buy their album , They aren't famous i've to admit , They ARE talented and i practically am fascinated with their voices , THEY CAN DANCE HUMANS and they don't deserve to be like this .

I'm soo .. well ... dissapointed ? A'st1 , this little fan of yours , have been waiting like forever for your 3rd album , but then , news came out today , YOU'RE DISBANDING . why you've to do such hard things for me ? I can't face it now. First , I lost wonbin , then i lost tomo , i lost jaebum too and now , i've to lose a'st1 ? whyyy ? whyy human whyy ? I am so sad .

I miss jungjin's leader-ness , I miss tomo and his pet , I miss haiming's hair , I miss hanbyul and jangmoon's voices and i miss the monster inkyu . what am i gonna do now ? THEY'RE OFFICIALLY LEFT KPOP . sighh man . Its really a hard year for kpop boybands and a'st1 have the worst luck ! because you see , kangin IS still in suju ( miss him so much tho ) pheww , dbsk IS NOT disbanding , jaybum WILL coming back for sure and everyone who got infected with swine flu WILL be healthy but a'st1 ? I LOST THEM FOREVER .

The past is history now . The past when they all laugh , i still remember how sweet jangmoon voice is when he sing more than words . am so facinated with him and he is such a cutie i can swear . I miss how inkyu is a monster of eating and jungjin being a good leader always carry some foods with him in case inkyu is still hungry , how sweet was that can you tell me ? Haiming is like... invisible in the group but yeah , he does something good actually . Hanbyul , did you by any chance , have heard a whole new world ? yes the main song of aladdin , don't call me childish . IT IS SUCHH A NICE SONG ! and about hanbyul , he sang that song with someone i don't know her name , I soo love that song because of him and kyuhyun . He makes me fall in love for the second time after i hear kyu sang that song .

I've to blame DSP AND DSP SUCKS LIKE HELL . THEY SUCKS IN PROMOTING A'ST1 ! WTF WTF ! They're promoting SS501 all the way and forget about AS'T1 . I hate thattt ! YOU MAKE MY ANGEL SUFFER ! SHIT YOU DSP , SHIT YOU ! They said that they're suffering ! wtf is that ?! DSP is sucks , I hate DSP , I hate SM , I hate YG , I hate JYP . WHO ELSE ?! JUST DON'T FUCKING MAKE MY ANGEL LIKE YOUR SLAVES ! YOU SUCKS BIG TIME ! UGHHHH ! and now DSP , happy enough ? you yourselve didn't work very hard on promoting them , DON'T BLAME MY ANGELS LAH BULLSHIT ! DSP make my angel as an ordinary person back WHILE MY 6 VERY TALENTED ANGEL HAVE A HIGH HOPE TO BE FAMOUS IN KPOP ! They've beautiful voices , They can sing , THE CAN DANCE ! I hate DSP so much T_T

Eunice , Lets stay strong okay ? WE WILL WORK HARD TOGETHER AND SHOW A'ST1 THAT THEY HAVE FANS ! I guess now , its time for us , eunice , to separate with our idol . Eunice and A'st1 will be together forever . Leader Jungjin love us so much , so much until he can't be able to tell us the sad news . So sweet of him . I miss Jangmoon so much by now . A'ST1 , hope to get some updates from you soon . PLEASE UPDATE YOUR CYWORLD , I'm reading it . and Tomo ! thank you for your everyday cyworld update .

Jungjin , Jangmoon , Hanbyul , Tomo , Haiming , Inkyu . By now , I'm missing you all so much ! Jangmoon , DON'T GET SICK ! :( Bye bye angels , We'll meet soon .

I lost FT Island's Oh WonBin , I lost A'st1's Tomo , I lose 2PM's Park Jaybum and now , I lost A'st1's member . What's nex ? I've come to realise that , this is the time eunice and a'st1 have to face the disbandment . I'm scared , I've lost one , I don't want to lose anyone anymore . Please please please , I'm begging on my knees , Please Be Together . Super Junior , DBSK , Big Bang , FT Island , 2PM , 2AM and others . Although I don't know or not interested in some of them , but the disbandment news really effect me . For one whole day i cried , please don't makes me cry anymore . Thank You for understanding but still , I lost A'st1 :(

I wonder , what are they doing now . Have inkyu eaten ? Have Jungjin gave him foods ? Have Jangmoon smile ? Have Haiming and others laugh ? I want to be there together with eunice and huggg them . They need a bigg hug :(

Dynamite , Dynamite , Dynamite , Dynamite
You're in my heart , trying to burst out
Dynamite , Dynamite , Dyanmite , Dynamite
You're like a dream , Dynamite

- Dynamite , A'st1

Its regrettable feeling , a regrettable feeling
To miss you always when you're next to me
Hey my girl ( boy ) , insecure feeling like a glass
Its regrettable feeling , a regrettable feeling
To miss you always when you're next to me
Hey my girl ( boy ) , I want to hold you in my heart like this

Your smile that resembles like the sunshine
Your scent that resembles the wind , your warmth breath
Your fresh eyes , I like them all

In my heart ,
Stay with me FOREVER .

- Yearning of a heart , A'st1

Eunice , Stay Strong . A'st1 , thanks for the memories you gave me . I'm so happy , Lets start a brand new world . We'll not forget you 6 members because we love you and yeah , Stay with eunice forever . Jungjin , Jangmoon , Haiming , Tomo , Hanbyul , Inkyu . FIGHTING !

Hurry !!

2009-11-27T01:29:00.003+08:00

okay people , this is really SUPER FAST post .
I'm writing it now very very fast , because mummy will turn off the wireless in 15 minutes !
Ookay what should i say now ?
I'm really sorry that i can't reply all your comments , i've reply some but not all , don't blame me though .
but nevermind , i ALWAYS love you all ! my dear <333>

okay stop with that , I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT RUMOURS SAID JAEJOONG IS DATING WITH ABIRUU ! omg why that bitch fucking slut AGAIN ?! I HATE HER ! i don't hate her because she's rumoured with jaejoong , BUT I HATE HER BECAUSE SHE DUMPED MY HANDSOME AWESOME CUTIE YAMAPI ! how dare the slut did that ? I can't forgive her ! He makes yamapi went all heartbroken , left him and go to the other man. JUST DON'T YOU THINK THAT SHE IS SO BITCH ?! i might give her a monkey slap nowww *tense up* I love jaejoong , i respect all his decision BUT JUST NOT ABIRU ! ughhh . and yeah , my jae ONLY BELONGS TO JUNG YUNHO ! hear that fangirl ? back away because they're definitely going to be together at the end :D Jae , no japanese girl okay ? Koreans ONLY :)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA ! yeay :)

ps : I've to do this real fast :( my mummy is going to off thw wireless soon , 5 MINUTES TO GO !
pps: I'll definitely reply all your tags , just tag more can ? :D

Sick Me

2009-11-24T22:53:00.002+08:00

* i neeeeeeed him so badly now can ? yah fishy , be back home NOWW !*

OHMYMONKEYY ,
I don't know lah , my eyes are all red like a .... dragon ?
yeahh dragon . The fact is , I AM SICK for the whole freaking days ,
suffer the monkey out of me can ?
For the sakes of monkeys , I didn't touch my books today ,
Books , miss me ? lol
but nevermind books , I'll meet you tomorrow .
At 6 in the morning , okay ? :)
Now , I'm off . I ... I ... AAACHOOOO ! what the monkeys lah !
Monkey you flu T______T

ps : I'm sorry , i'm in a veryyy bad condition . stress much ? *nod nod* tell me not to study much can ? TELL ME NOT TO PLEASE ? I can't stop otherwise if someone ask me to stop lol xD
pps : I want nes handphone so badlyy since my sister got hers today , monkey her .
ppps : I love monkeys for no reason now .
pppps: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHOOO ! ahh terrible flu .
ppppps: pray for me to get well soon :))

Melaka Trip & Eya's Present

2009-11-22T09:28:00.004+08:00

isn't he like .. the cutest thing on earth ?

Hello ~ :D

Oh right , yesterday , I went for a trip to Melaka , and guess what humans ?! IT WAS THE BEST TRIP I'VE EVER BEEN , I SWEARR TO !

okay , first , i arrived at school late , very latee . lol , who cares ?

*izreen , i have yours too xDD*

so yeah , made our way to melaka , WOHOO ! we were soo anticipating with this trip , and yeah , we practically screams and talking and do funny things in the bus . which makes me feels so happy and smileee :) i sat beside izreen and aquilah sat beside yoshini , fun fun fun . arrived at zoo melaka around 10 am ? i'm not sure , so yeah , say hello the animals people :) no fishy there , but i found horses :)) so dekat situ diaorang mcm ade kan some show with the orang utans , birds and monkeys. Orang utans were so cutee and funny , I love marwina . *putheartshape*so yeah , enough with that , pusing pusing satu zoo melaka , i met tigers , crocodiles , birds , monkeys , bear cat ( its a bear with a cat face , i swear when i looks at it , i thought i'm looking at an alien . really reallu like this O_O ! . i wanna see a cat dog , a cat with a dog face xD ) i found my HUSBAND THERE ! a sun bear ! THE CUTEST BEAR ON EARTH ! omg hubby i miss you already <3333>we arrived first at the meetpoint , so proud , we made it first and we get to see the elephant's show and yeah , everyone was so jealous towards us , boo yah xDDD bla bla bla bla and yeah WE ARRIVED AT THE MUSEUM !nothing much happens , some chinese REAL hotties there . me and aquilah was like this ..

me / aquilah / together

psst psst , weh mamat pakai bju merh tu hot kan ?
a'ahh ! betul betul , aishh habis mata aku .

10 minutes later ..

weh kau tau tk , tadi en , aku nmpk mamat pakai bju merh tu selak bju dia sebb nk lap peluh , AKU NMPK SKIN DIA ! BADAN DIA OMG OMG ! aku dh mati boleh kat situ ? yekeh ?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

xDD very funny isn't it ? lol xD so yeah , after the two museums , we went to menara taming sari ! i loveee it , its like a something something that makes us go up there and see the whole melaka , izreen was being a gayat person xD she's holding my hand throughout the session lol xD when i went up there , we were whoo-ing and screaming . i scream donghae's name while the person beside me screams yunho's name , i was like O_O !! we end up shout ' KOREA !!!!! ' XDDD it was my chinese friend fromm .... nah 2G ? eugene was 2G is it ? i don't know ~ leave it there .

after that , DATARAN PAHLAWAN HERE I COME ! so boring lah there can ? nothing je dekat sne . so yeah , we end up buying a brand outlets bag lol xDD OH YES PEOPLE ! I SAW KIM JUNSU in a television ! so hyper up already . i was practically shouting ' JUNSU JUNSU JUNSU JUNSU ! ' and people were like ' what's wrong with that school girl ? lol xD who cares lah ? if super junior kan , i think i can die there xDD

me / izreen / aquilah

eh i thought i heard jaejoong's laugh . uuu where is it where is it ?

then suddenly .

JUNSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ! !@!@#@$%^&*^%$#@!#$%^ !!!!
wei YA ALLAH , kawan spe pulak ni . eh jom pegi kedai tu !
ntah la weh , eh aku malu do , jom jom . KHAIRINA BYE BYE !
YAHHHHHHHHHH ! WAIT ! AMBIK GMBR KEJAP ! WAIT WAITTT !

5.30 , we went back home , WEEE . slept in the bus for like 1 hour . after that , i got up . i saw my friends were like so hyperactive and i can't sleep anymore ! i really can't sleep , ughhh . while i was laughing with all my friends , suddenly i heard ' sorry sorry sorry sorry ' . SORRY SORRY ! i shouts ' OMG DONGHAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! ' so crazy already can ? HAHHAHAHA ! i found out the chinese friend of mine played the song , ape lagi kan ? JOIN SEKALI LAH ! xDD we were dancing to sorry sorry , dancing out , mirotic . singing to genie , sorry sorry , mirotic , replay , again and again . i asked her whether she has gee or not , then she said she didn't have it . i was like ' ooh okayy ' . then i took out my handphone and played the gee song . OMG I LOVE THEM CAN ? THEY WERE SINGING TO GEE TOO ! we sing and do some crazy stuffs .you know right the jessica's pabo ? lol . when the song played that part , we were like ' PABO ! ' we freaking SCREAM IT ! ' PABOOO ! ' XDDD i love eugene and de yi , they're so cute especially eugene . SHE IS SOOO CUTE ! CUTIEE ! i took out my handphone and showed aquilah the korean boys , aquilah and I were spazzing to it ! we were shouting and i don't know eugene and de yi who's standing at the back of us were spazzing to it too . WE SCREAMED WHEN I SHOWED THEM YUNHO AND JAEJOONG'S BODY LOL XDD and they were yunjae shipper too . i told them on how much i love yunjae to be together and they say that they like it too . omg i love the two fo you

The two monekys , who're originally from zoo melaka , but end up follow me until i arrive at school . Monkeys i love you lah !

the best lawatan i've ever been to , sadly i just brought with me rm40 . i can't even buy a roxy's purse :(

oh right before i forget about it , eya's present <3

breath in

breath out

breath in

breath out

excited much ?

i guess its a no .

so sadd oh really ?

you really wanted to know ?

nahh you're lying ?

lets just shout ' i love super junior ' first can ?

I LOVE SUPER JUNIORR !

nahh i didn't hear you , did you really shout ?

oh really ? you DID shout .

why i can't hear you ?

maybe i've to clean up my ears

lol xD

i'm so tired to fool around already , lets just reveal the present :D

so yeah , on the * wait am counting * yeah , 16th november , i went to school at 10 am. i'm teman-ing afrina because she have to do some works . so yeah , after the bla bla bla session with her and teachers , this is what the exact situation that happens on monday . after eya gave me the presents , hugs her and talks to her , i opened my present in the library .

me / afrina

eh bukak la !
ye ye , aku bukak lah ni .
eh tunggu kejap ! buang sampah dulu *runsquickly*
CEPAT LAHHHH
okay okay dh buang , SEKARANG BUKAK !
.... * am opening the present CAREFULLY without any tore on the wrapping paper xD *
cepatlah bukak , lambat ... WHATTTTTT ?!
FUYOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ! *dance to happy buble * HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BUBBLE ! TA TA TA TA RAAAA ! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BUBBLE ! TA TA TA TA RAA ! * do kyuhyun's winning gesture *
nahhh * beat me* apesal birthday kau special sangat tahun ni ?
mane aku tahu , oh maybe sebab tahun tahun lepas aku tak dpt hadiah kot .DONGHAEEEEE !

ish diam lah ! kau tak nampak ke cikgu tuh dh bagi signal suruh
senyap .
oh sorry sorry , TAPI BETULLAH ! MUG DONGHAE WEH ! HANDSOME DONGHAE ! *smiling brighttly like there's no tomorrow for me dah *
sudah sudahh , simpan balik benda alah tu , aku dah gila bapak punya jealous !
alah relax la , tahun depan aku buat mug letak gambar jaejoong punya boxer ngan abs sexy .
O_O !!!

xDDDDD yeah i got a mug with donghae's picture on it . SO CUTE AND SO HOTT ! aquilah was drooling over him too and i quickly stated that he is only mine ! lol xDD I lovee eya ! Then i went out the library , search for eya and hugs her for the second time . i didn't remember if i said thanks to her or not but anyway eya , THANKS ALOTT <33>

ps : done with sejarah's form 1 chapter 5 ! next stop = Geografi form 1's !

pps : why there must be something that came up when we about to grab the happiness ? mommy , we'll definitely go to guangzhou ! oh no wait , its nanjing kan ? i though it was guangzhou , guangzhou tu airport je . lahhh . okat wtv , we'll definitely go :)

Today

2009-11-17T23:59:00.002+08:00

Yeah, today's our last day for school , great .
Bye bye form 2 , welcome form 3 .
I'll be missing everyone and everything that happens when i'm in the evening session .
Puan Lee's very hecking deep voice ,
Puan Zaleha's ' faham tak / jelas atau tidak ? ' ,
Cik Siti's ' Oi makcik ! ' ,
Puan Maheran dorkiness ,
Puan Khor's stories ,
Bullying the juniors ,
and everythingggggg !
and heck yeah people , puan bahariah and all the school's teacher are making US SUFFER ! like hell , we've the streaming class this year and fuckingg shit i've to separate with my beloved friends . THAT'S TRULY UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR ! i hate my school's principle so much T_T and cik anita , i'm not racist . please stop saying me racist because i'm not the one , YOU ARE TEACHER !

I love 2A , I love 2A . I LOVE EVERYONE IN 2A ,
Please keep this in your mind that eventhough we're separated , we still friends kan ?
and friends stand by each other forever !
Syakirah , Allyana , Amira , Aquilah , Marliyana .
We've known each other for freaking 2 years , we shared problems with each other , but i don't know why fate have been so cruel like this .
Aquilah , I can't believe it ! finally we're separated , we've never ever separate class kan ? but next year we have to . I'll miss your gedik-ness so much can ?
It'll not be the same next year , i swear it'll not be the same .
The environment have changes so muchh .
Allyana cried so much today , i was so sad too .
We're not in the same class next year , I can't believe it i say it .
I don't want we to separate , but what can we do ? Its the fucking rules .
The 1 malaysia rules .
Today , was like the most memorable day in 2009 .
The 5 of you , I'll be missing you so much ! I swear !
Lets do the study group together , LETS GET THE FREAKING 8As TOGETHER !
WE CAN DO IT GIRLS ! fighting !
* yoshini said that i was her beloved sister and she loves me , i was like O_O ! okay lah , BUT THAT'S NOT FREAKING FAIRR . i was so much younger than her HAH ! '

Oh right , I'll be going to Guangzhou for holidays ! *throwsconfetti*
I wanna go to schenzhen or even nanjing but nahh , my mom wants it to be at guangzhou , finee .
I'l be going on the 10th of december and i'll be back on either 18th or 19th i'm not sure .
guangzhou , wait for mee . I'm going to shopp all the cute cute things there !
I believe they have manyyy of it ! omg i'm so excited already .
AND AND , I'LL MEET THE SNOWW ! damn it , i know it'll be damnn cold , damn snowy because its written that guangzhou will have the winter season T_T
how the hell am i going to shop all the things if it's like that ? *cries*
I'll be back with so manyyy pictures <3>

and nisa nisaa , i'm sorry . i might not online on your bday because i was in guangzhou . truly sorry :(

Now , writing about how excited i'll be going to guangzhou , it reminds me how excited i am when i know that i'll be going to korea two years ago .

I wanna go to Korea :(

Next trip ! medan and bangkok . heck yeah people , its bangkok .

I'll beg my father , i wanna go to beijing for once . heee :D

I'll stop here now .

Time checked : 1.55 am .

good khairina . G.O.O.D . tomorrow you've to go the lawatan and yet you still stay up late , nahhh T_T

I'll blog about my present i get from eya tomorrow .

I SWEAR YOU'LL SHOUT OUT LOUD BECAUSE MEE TOO IS SHOUTING OUT LOUD WHEN I RECEIVE MY PRESENT ! *lagi lagi dlm pss , puan thieva tengok nina mcm ni o_O ! *

it was a ... it was a...

nahh i'll just tell it tomorrow xD

*dance to happy bubble *

I love eya so much lah ! and we're not awkward with each other anymore and i hugs her TWO TIMES ! i was not expecting that i could hug her the second time . i love skinships too much , i guess . this is all choi siwon , lee donghae and cho kyuhyun's fault ! lol cutie <3

ps: I love leed onghae

pps: I'll reply the comments tomorrow

ppps: bye people :)

I'm proud to be an ELF

2009-11-15T23:40:00.002+08:00

I love Park Jung Soo

I love Kim Heechul

I love Kim Jongwoon

I love Park Youngwoon

I love Tan Hangeng

I love Shin Donghee

I love Lee Sungmin

I love Lee Donghae

I love Lee Hyukjae

I love Choi Siwon

I love Kim Ryeowook

I love Kim Kibum

I love Cho Kyuhyun

Elf love Suju
Suju love ELF

Suju is 13 ,
The next member suju choose is ELF

Leader teuk have said ,
Its because of E L F suju is exist .

ELF always protect suju ,
Suju always protect ELF .

In order to fullfill teukie's wish to see the whole world cover with sapphire blue ,
ELF helps them .

Ever Lasting Friend ,
They're always beside suju ,
protecting suju ,
believe in suju ,
support suju in good and bad times ,
buy suju presents ,
did everything just for the boyband named SUPER JUNIOR .

I've always wonder ,
I've been supporting suju for like 1 year now ,
Did I do my role well ?
I know , I did it well .
but part of me said , I'm not doing it well .
I love them , I seriously love them .
but why did some of people said ' nahh , you'll not last long ' .
It seriously dissapoints me .

Did I do my role well ?
Did I ?
I don't even know about it .

Always in my heart ,
Beautiful and pure love ,
13 handsome members ,
Smile at me ,
I promise ,
I propose to you by thi song ,
If I can protect them ,
I'm not afraid of anything ,
I'll be your E.L.F in the sky ,
Always like the first miracle that come ,
Like a fairy tale elf , I'll stay here .
Perhaps , if you're in pain ,
Let us know ,
Don't try to endure it all by yourself ,
Tell us ,that you believe in us ,
Whisper (to me) , (the) love song ,
I'll do everything for you ,
I'll be your E.L.F in the sky ,
Missing you as the reason (i slept ) late (at) night ,
As if we love ,
I'll lend that name to everlasting friends ,
Like a dandelion ,
I'll fly to the sun ,
the moon and see our present ,
The time we spen together will turn into blue ,
I want to protect my precious people ,
I'll be your forever friend in your life ,
My love don't worry ,
we won't leave ,
I want to prtect you eventhough we have time to be apart ,
We are truly happy that we are with you ,
I'll be your E.L.F in your sky ,
Make a best wish in the endless memory ,
Twinkle blue light , we'll protect you .
- Korean ELF song

The definition of SUPER JUNIOR .

A group that consist of 13 talented members which starts from park eeteuk and ends with cho kyuhyun .

In this life , I'll love you with all I can . Let ELF love you with all we can . I love you , We love you ;)

Prezzie

2009-11-14T12:34:00.006+08:00

* I soooo love this pink maniac ! *

Oh right hello human :)
I promise to you that i will post my present's picture right ?
so here they are . Its not a lot but i'm quite satisfied .
It's the most amount of present i get in this 14 years of my life , i swear .

First , afrina gave me this . She's the firstt person that gave me my birthday present .

the bear tabung , lol . so cutee . Its freaking bigg and and freaking cute . my mom said it is good she give me this because I'll learn how to berjimat cermat from now on T_T Thanks afrina !

So yeah , lets move on , the second i get is from me myself .

Its a i-don't-know-what-they-call-them . Its cute and cute and cuteee ! I use it to stuff in my mp4 and handphone . really useful . oh and yes , i bought it at the street the curve :)

Now the third present from izreen ! heee :D

It's so cutee can ?! the blue is obviously represents hae and the pink is me . OMG I LOVE ITTTT ! ' I love You ! ' ' Me Too ! ' MIAHAHHAA ! Thank youu Izreen :D

Move on people , now let see what my mother gave me .

a milky teddy wallet and a tropicana life's bag . I LOVE THEM ! I love the cute wallet , I'm so going to buy the wallet from lovely lace if i went to aeon's lovely lace next time . so yeah the next one is a tropicana life's bag . Since I'm so in love with that kind of bag , she bought me one . lol mommy thank youu <33>

You wanna know what nabila gave me ?

Really want to know ?

Okay givbe me the drum rolls first pleasee .

*drumrolls*

dup

dap

dup

dap

dup dap

Tada !

ITS SUPER JUNIOR SORRY SORRY 3RD ALBUM VERSION C PEOPLE !

me / afrina

weh weh , tengok nii . nabila bagi kat aku , HEHE . bukak jom ?
ahh yeke ? bukak ah cepat !
*wide smile* okay okay , aku bukak ni , aku bukak ni .
IYE !
WEHHHHHHHH ! KAU TENGOK NI ! KAU TENGOK NI ! AAAAAAAAAAAAA !!
*hugs her tightly*
Weh ! nk jugk ! *tutup telinga* ishhhhh ! sudah sudah ah menjerit !
TAK BOLEH AH ! EXCITE GILA PULAK ! DONGHAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! fuyoh , ade *counting the boys * 13 !
eh tk pyh lah kira , mmg dlm album mesti la ade 13 !
HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ! OH MAN OH MAN ! nasib baik aku tk terbeli semalam kankan ?
tau tkpeeee .

MIAHAHHAHA ! everyone in the class was like ' what's happen what's happen ? ' and someone who's kindhearted told them that i got a present from my senior and the present is suju's album . lol xD I was shocked too ! and the album come with a piece of paper which she wrote her wish for me . there's eunhae in it xDD I keep it in my mickey wallet . lol micky wallet so cute xDDD I should change my wallet because I've use it likee 4 months now . I can't really find a wallet that makes me don't wanna change for like a long time. Where can I get those wallet eh ? Heeee :)

So yeah , how's the present ? I love them all . and yeah , I didn't use them . Its still in their wrapping paper . I keep it in my cupboard . Place it properly in there and no one an touch it . I scold my sister yesterday because she accidentally open the cupboard . xDD

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*jaejoong : yahh jung yunho ! I'M WATCHING YOU ! don't flirt ! *

I soo love yunjae and i believe yunjae is real :)

School is about to end soon . Its mean that my prestasi day is so near and i'm so scared . I hope my mother have some appointment on that day . Ishh but people , I'm improved . but I still have one typical C T_T aish lets just put it aside .

Lets talk about 2A . I just love my form 2 life can ? Its senior life , Its life that everyone and every teacher know me , Its life that I can bully my junior . Its life I can do everything like I rule the school . but not for next year . Next year I already back with the title of junior . Its hard to be a junior you know . Its fun to be a senior . Oh right 2A , i've always thought that my class , is a very noisy-nerdy class . Yes , we makes noise . in this two three weeks , I've come to reliase that eventhough we hate each other , that doesn't mean we can't have fun witch each other . We blends well too . Last Thursday , in order to make cik anita a surprise , shobana tell us to hide and when cik anita comes , we'll shout ' Thank You Teacher ! ' . In my mind , I think that they probably didn't want to follow shobana's instructions. but nahh , WE COOPERATE WELL ! even lim san ying also hiding to make the surprise . That's so funny ! Aishh I simply love 2A girls . The best classmates I've ever wish for ! Cik Anita , There's sometime she pisses me off with her annoying behaviour but i can swear , she's the best and the most sporting teacher you've ever seen . although some time , i hate her can ? aigoo . And next year , THERE'LL BE NO GANTHIMATHI ! lets clap people . It's been two years since I'm in her class . AND IN THIS TWO YEARS , I'VE NEVER GET AN A because of her . I studied KH teras all by myself . She didn't taught us chapter 4 and that sucks . oh well teacher , Thanks for all the knowledge you gave me . you make my form 1 life sucks you know ? T_T

ps: people , I love lee donghae :P

:D

2009-11-11T01:30:00.003+08:00

* ish betullah mamat kyu ni suka skinship *

Hello people ,
so yeah , i've been bugging out so many people about how nervous am i to go tuition on monday . i'm sorry HAHA ! eya and nabila wished me when i'm in school . somehow i feel like they give me strengths to go tuition . i feel so like ' ahhh , semangat lah pulak nk pegi tuition ' MUAHAHAHA ! XD thanks nabila , thanks eya :)

so yeah , i went to jusco bukit tinggi tadi . mommy treat me a milky teddy's wallet wich was specially picked by her . and i'm so love it . i'll post out the pictures later . and she also gets me a tropicana beg . thankies <3>

aishh tuition , tiring eh ? but i've lotsa fun tuition-ing with natrah . and my class kan , they've only four students in it . i'm so happy ! eventhough it was my very first time met them , we've become like soo close ! lols i love my tuition friend alot can ? and we've this one boys , he's as tall as lee donghae . donghae is more handsome but the boy was okay . a really shy type . have never talked to anyone except the teachers . aishh pathetic kan he ? but nevermind boy , i'll tegur you oneday . aha gatal ! xD

2PM WILL COME BACK ?! omg yay ! alhamdulillah . God grants my wish ! yes ! i'm so waiting for this day . anyway hottestt ! keep boycotting 1:59's album . no jaybum no album ! :D and hell yeah , i don't want dbsk to break up . please be 5 together forever . I kind of scared you know , 12 nov . they'll reveal if they want to be with sm or not . and if not , you've to say bye bye to dbsk . i don't wantt *cries*

Thanks for the people who wished me :)
Afrina
Izreen
Allyana
Aquilah
Marsya
Cheryl
Jil Ee
Classmates :)
Nia Syuraina
Nicole Tan
Anisa Safwa
Liesa Unnie
Eya
Fiqah
Couzi
Hanna
Nazyrah
Izzah
Mak Ngah
Family :)
Nabila teukie
Esha
Nabihah
Audrey Chin
Shazira
Yasmin
Natrah

*nabihah , i'm sorry because i missed your name last time , i was very in a bad condition .

*signing off*

ps : i met kak alia , oh yes my form 4 senior . she came to my house to pick up his adorable little brother . i saw her mp3 then i was spazzing like heck lol . so embarassing ! and yeah , she is so friendly and humble , although i was her junior . she still treat me like she treat other people . that's the thing i like about her and she's unique . a very unique person . heck yeah , i love her mp3 can ? the mp3 can be so stylo when she's the one who use it . MIAHAHAHHAA !
ps : I'll reply the comments tomorrow , because i was damnly tired . aha damnly . bagus bi kau xD

Warning : sad post ( not really , i think )

2009-11-08T17:45:00.005+08:00

He's sad because of me :(

I know I should be happy today , and how the hell i'm going to be happy when no one in this house even REMEMBER TODAY IS MY SPECIAL DAY ? my life sucks . how could they , i'm crying right now . i don't know . when my other siblings birthday , my mother even bought them a big cake , while me ? nothing , she didn't even remember my birthday , that's really makes my heart shattered into 1000 pieces . ibu please , i'm still 14 year old teenagers . I still have the heart like a child , my heart is too fragile , yet you didn't even know about that . I still want a birthday celebration , at least wish me . I'm not expecting any birthday present from you as i know you won't give me . I'm so dissapointed , very dissapointed . very very dissapointed . you know , the day i hate the most every year is 8 nov . I've to point out this because i feel like , today is nothing special for me . what day is today ? ahh 8 nov . nothing special to be surprise about . i thought of my family to wish me first but i'm totally wrong . why my life have to be like this ? why oh why ? i've done nothing wrong , did I ?You don't have to come to me and complain about how your mother and father didn't give you presents or didn't treat you dinner or whatsoever . I'll really kick your pretty ass out of my face , damn you . at least you should be thankful that they wish you , please lah people .be thankful !
so yeah , i'm not saying here that i hate my mother , father and my family . I'm just saying that i truly dissapointed with them . make sense ? okay lets continue with what's happen next .
Nana texted me while i'm in the car on my way to the curve , everytime she texted me , my heart hurts . really , i'm so hurtt at that time . so yeah , she makes me laughed too . thanks nana ! i owe you one ! after that , we went to the curve . oh right lupa nak cakap , today nur khairina bt khairulmuzammil telah memecahkan record dengan tidak bercakap selama *letmecount* 9 hours ? lol . and everyone was wondering , wth is wrong with me . my mom try to talk to me but i was just like ' ohhhh ' T_T really not in the mood to laugh or whatsoever . so yeah , 9 PM makngah wished me a happy birthday wish and my sister who's accidentally ternampak the message show it to my mother . my mother and my sister actually know about my birthday but they was just like ' nahh , tau tau ' . that makes me really damn hurts ! she know but she pretend like she didn't know . whatthe ?! aish at least my father was there to wish me . thanks ayah <3>
so yeah , that was the things that happen 8 nov , sad sad sad . I didn't get to enjoy my day . I'm enoying with the tears on my day , really sweet though :(
Thanks to everyone who wished me :
Afrina
Izreen
Allyana
Aquilah
Marsya
Cheryl
Jil Ee
Classmates :)
Nia Syuraina
Nicole Tan
Anisa Safwa
Liesa Unnie
Eya
Fiqah Couzi
Hanna
Nazyrah
Izzah
Mak Ngah
Family :)

*do tell me if you're missed out ! :D

Thanks alott afrina for the birthday present you gave me . its really really cute and i lovee it so much can ? i even put it back in the wrapping paper because i love it too much to use it LOLS XD
I'll put the pictures later

Happy Annivesary Super Junior

2009-11-06T09:10:00.005+08:00

It's 4 years already ,
yet you still stay strong ,
beyound our imagination .
In this 4 years ,
Everything has happens ,
Start from Hankyung's visa thingy which makes me cry nonstop ,
Then our heechul's accident and our donghae's father died ,
Then the biggest and the most tragic accident in korea involving the idols ,
Kibum's missing ,
Then latest was our kangin .
Stay strong idols ,
We're here for you ,
We'll be there for you ,
Super Junior and ELF ,
There's nothing can separate us from being together .
Congratulations and Well Done .

Park Jungsoo ,
you're in the role of a leader and you suit the position the must .
You've done a very good job throughout the past 4 years ,
Congratulations and Well Done .

Kim Heechul ,
You're the most unpredictable one .
But you too are the one who makes suju become famous .
Congratulations and Well Done .

Hankyung ,
You're my one and only the most handsome chinese guy .
Thanks for being so sweet towards us .
Congratulations and Well Done .

Park Youngwoon ,
In the role of a bully ,
I don't care though .
Although there's many things happen to you , Stay strong because I know you still have the pure and white heart of yours .
You have us . You have members . Always keep the faith .
Congratulations and Well Done .

Kim Jongwoon ,
My weirdest man ever !
Sometimes you can be adork person , sometimes you can be a serious person .
I've always said that , I don't know you very well .
I don't care because what you've to know now is I LOVE YOU , clear enough ?
Stay strong :)
Congratulations and Well Done

Shin Donghee ,
My mr big chubby teddy bear .
I've always wanted to pinch your chubby cheeks and hugs you tighttttly .
Don't go on diet anymoree ! I just love you with the way you're now .
Congratulations and Well Done .

Lee Sungmin ,
The aegyo cutie pie pink maniac man .
The most adorable little cutie out of those 13 mans .
I adore your aegyo alot can ? just don't try to be a sexy man .
Because minnie you're not . Your character was cute and just stick to it okay ?
I love you ..
Congratulations and Well Done

Lee Hyukjae ,
The skinniest man yet a big eater .
Don't work too hard on your muscles because you already have it and i swear lee hyukjae ,
its freaking big for a skinny guy like you , T_T
but whatever it is hyukkie , I love your muscles XD
Congratulations and Well Done

Lee Donghae ,
The brightest star on my sky .
Thanks for everything you give to us .
Your sweetness , caring-ness and everything .
You act like a caring boyfriend towards us and we love it .
Keep the bright smile on your face forever my lee fishy . '
Congratulations and Well Done

Choi Siwon ,
My chocolate abs man .
Yah stop working out already !
You're the top 5 youngest you know ? xD
Thanks for taking care of my six lovely mans while you're in China ,
as i know hannie can't actually control their naughty-ness xDDD
Congratulations and Well Done

Kim Ryeowook ,
The forever magnae , yeah magnae .
You're so cute and so thin and so cute and so thin and so small !
you know what , i always feel like protecting you although our age gap was like ,
8 years with each other .
It because you didn't act manly and i always love you for that .
You too don't have to be so manly because that doesn't suit you .
Keep on smiling magnae , yes my dongsaeng . lol
OPPA I LOVE YOU LA ! oh right i should be calling you dongsaeng because you're so small xDDD
Congratulations and Well Done

Kim Kibum ,
yes you , the most quiet one ,
the most barely talks one .
what am i going to do with you ?
appear yourself soon kim kibum because everyone miss you .
and everyone is craving for you .
KIM KIBUM FIGHTING !
Congratulations and Well Done .

Cho Kyuhyun ,
the impudent , childish , not-so-mature , immature , cutie , witty magnae .
and you , I love you being as a impudent magnae towards your hyung .
It shows that you actually cared for each other and CHO KYUHYUN THAT WAS SO LOVELY :D
please keep the very bright and wideee smile on your face okay ?
Congratulations and Well Done .

Boys ,
I know being together as 13 on a stage is so hard ,
but you 13 boys manage to get rid the awkwardness being together .
I'm so proud of you .
CONGRATULATIONS AND WELL DONE !

We are Super Junior because there's all 13 of us . We have to be 13 to be Super Junior and to be on the stage , it's not a team where a member is bad or good , but we shine best when all 13 of us are together - Kangin Super Junior

You're my eveything ,
You're my best ,
My person , no matter what anyone says ,
You're my love .

Don't say that you can't ,
Don't say that you'll fail ,
Even if no one acknowledges you , you can do it ,
Now don't change and smile all together ,
Everyone here now will always happy together ,
always , HAPPY TOGETHER .

- Super Junior 3rd album , happy together .

ps: I'll reply the comments latter , gotta settle something else .